The Beginning of Always Read Free

left to check his blind spot before changing lanes. He was four years younger than me, but with his prodigious height and broad shoulders, I now had to struggle to think of myself as the big sister who used to chase him down the driveway, screaming for him to bring the cookie tin back.
    “You cut your hair,” I said. Nicolas’s dirty-blond hair was excessively neat, neater than I ever remembered it being. He had messy waves for as long as I could recall, but now, his hair was closely cropped. It suited him. The cut brought his razor-sharp cheekbones out and accentuated his square jawline. Still, it was strangely disconcerting, as if he had finally grown up.
    Nicolas ran an open palm over his scalp and scuffed the buzz cut. “Hospital policy. Needed to get rid of it. It’s alright.” He shrugged. “Easier to keep clean anyway.”
    I snorted. “As if you were trying to keep clean before.”
    Before I could react, Nicolas’s fist rushed out and cuffed me on my upper arm.
    “Ow!” I yelped in protest, immediately massaging the sore spot.
    “Talk about your own hair! It’s like a raccoon took up residence in it.”
    My chestnut-brown hair was always much too thick for its own good and was now unceremoniously piled up on top of my head in a sloppy bun. Bangs and several layers hung down past my ears to frame my face, and I indignantly pushed them back from my eyeline.
    “Don’t talk about Meeko that way. He keeps my head warm and my hair big and full of secrets.” I petted my bun delicately.
    “He’s got a rough job. You probably know secrets that could topple a nation.”
    “Brother, dear, you have no idea.”
    Nicolas clicked his tongue several times. “Spill it.”
    “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
    Nicolas rolled his eyes at my answer. “Good cliché, James Bond Villain Number Eight. Sit back and rest up if you’re tired. Traffic is rough at this hour.”
    It was good to be around Nicolas again. My little brother was annoying and loud, but this was the reason I’d wanted to come back to the States—to be with family and to finally gain some stability in my life. Life on the road was wearisome, and I was finally ready to tap the brakes on my career and let the cards fall where they may.
    I reclined the seat and curled my legs up underneath me. The car rocked slowly as it chugged along the freeway.
    “Thanks for picking me up.”
    Nicolas turned towards me with a small smile. “Hey, anytime.” He paused, and then reached over to rustle my raccoon hair. “Good to have you back, big sis.”
    *  *  *
    The drive back was long due to traffic, but Nicolas and I chatted sporadically. The rest of the time, I just took in the changing landscape and emerging New York skyline. I had been back last year for two weeks, so it wasn’t anything new. I just simply never tired of experiencing the rush of anticipation that surged as the city appeared on the horizon, in all its gray glory, speckled in golden light.
    Darkness had fallen by the time we rolled up to his apartment. While Nicolas wrestled my suitcase from his pathetically small trunk, I gawked at the exterior of his building.
    “Come on.” Nicolas intentionally bumped shoulders with me as he carted my suitcase up the steps into the lobby. “What are you spacing out for? Let’s get inside, I’m freezing.”
    “You live here?” I hissed at him as I jumped up the stairs to keep up. I always knew he lived on the Upper West Side, but I’d never imagined he was shacking up in a high-rise of glossy glass and steel.
    “You know I’ve been here since I moved to New York.”
    “But here ?”
    Nicolas ignored me and entered the lobby, the doorman tipping his hat at both of us as we passed.
    We rode the elevator to the sixteenth floor. Nicolas pushed open the door to his apartment, I followed, heaving the torturously heavy tote bag off my shoulder with a sigh of relief and allowing it to thud to the floor. The tiled entryway had a sad