andâof courseâthe sharklike gill slits betwixt collar bones and throat, to give away the fact that itâs not just a fashion statement. That, and the sky-high thaum field sheâs givingoff: sheâs working a class four glamour, or Iâll eat my corsage. * âI heard you were transitioning?â
She waves it off with a swish of a white kidskin opera glove. âWe have ways of arresting or delaying the change. I can still function up here for a while. But within another two years Iâll need a walker or a wheelchair all the time, and I canât pass in public anymore.â Her eyebrows furrow minutely, telegraphing irritation. I peer at her. (Are those tiny translucent scales?) âSo I decided to take this opportunity for a last visit.â She takes a tiny step, swaying side-to-side as if sheâs wearing seven-inch stilettos: but of course she isnât, and where the train of her dress pools on the floor it conceals something other than feet. âHow have you been? I havenât heard anything from you or Bob for ages.â
For a brief moment she looks wistful, fey, and just very slightly vulnerable. I remind myself that Iâve got nothing against her: really, my instinctive aversion is just a side effect of the overwhelming intimidatory power of her glamour, which in turn is a cosmetic rendered necessary by her unfortunate medical condition. To find yourself trapped in a body with the wrong gender must be hard to bear: How much harsher to discover, at age thirty, that youâre the wrong species?
âLife goes on,â I say, with a light shrug. I glance at Mr. Fisheries Policeman to invite him to stick around, but he nods affably and slithers away in search of canapés and a refill for his glass of bubbly. âIn the past month Bob has acquired a cat, a promotion, and a committee.â (A committee where heâs being run ragged by the Vampire Bitch from Human Resources, a long-ago girlfriend-from-hell who has returned from the dead seemingly for the sole purpose of making his life miserable.) âAs for me, Iâm enjoying myself here. Slumming it among the upper classes.â I catch myself babbling and throw on the brakes. âTaking life easy.â
âI hear things,â Ramona says sympathetically. âThe joint defense coordination committee passes stuff on. I have aâwhat passes foraâdesk. Itâd all be very familiar to you, I think, once you got used to my people. Theyâre veryââ She pauses. âI was going to say
human
, but thatâs not exactly the right word, is it? Theyâre very
personable
. Cold-blooded and benthic, but they metabolize oxygen and generate memoranda all the same, just like any other bureaucratic life form. After a while you stop noticing the scales and tentacles and just relate to them as folks. But anyway: we hear things. About the Sleeper in the Pyramid and the Ancient of Days and the game of nightmares in Highgate Cemetery. And you have my deepest sympathy, for what itâs worth.
Prosit.
â She raises her champagne flute in salute.
âCheers.â I take a sip of Buckâs Fizz and focus on not displaying my ignorance. I am aware of the Sleeper and the Ancient, but . . . âHighgate Cemetery?â
âOops.â Fingers pressed to lips, her perfectly penciled eyebrows describe an arch: âPretend you didnât hear that? Your people have it in hand, Iâm sure youâll be briefed on it in due course.â Well, perhaps I will be: but my skin is crawling. Ramona knows too much for my peace of mind, and sheâs too professional for this to be an accidental disclosure: sheâs letting it all hang out on purpose.
Why?
âListen, you really ought to come and visit some time. My maâpeopleâare open to proposals for collaboration, you know. âThe time is right,â so to speak. For collaboration. With humans, or at least