marriage for mutual pleasure. In fact, if the truth were known, it has probably provided men and women with the greatest single source of married enjoyment since the days of Adam and Eve, just as God intended.
Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. When a couple’s sexual love life is unsatisfactory, it produces much stress in their relationship. Men who are disinterested and women who are averse to sex increase tension in the home, and this tension is often followed by unkind and selfish expressions or conduct that can be disastrous to a marriage. In many cases an unfulfilled sex life leads to infidelity or divorce.
About five years after the first edition of this book had been published, I spotted a lonely looking woman in her early forties coming into our Sunday evening service. Somehow I was not surprised that she was waiting for me when the service was over. Thinking I had never met her before, she introduced herself—the former wife of my college athlete friend mentioned above. In the twenty years they were married she had borne him four sons, all of whom were separated from their father most of the time now since he had divorced her. Apparently the day came when he could no longer tolerate her self-imposed abstinence or celibacy, and he became attracted to someone who was more responsive to his sexual needs. While his decision to leave his family cannot be condoned in a Christian, I am confident, knowing the youthful character of the man and his commitment to Christ, that it would not have happened if his wife had not been afflicted with an unbiblical mental attitude toward married lovemaking. For as we shall discover later in this book, the most important organ either partner brings to their wedding bed is their brain. It controls all other organs.
The Bible on Sex
Because the Bible clearly and repeatedly speaks out against the misuse or abuse of sex, labeling it “adultery” or “fornication,” many people—either innocently or as a means of trying to justify their immorality—have misinterpreted the teaching and concluded that God condemns all sex. However, the contrary is true. The Bible always speaks approvingly of this relationship—as long as it is confined to married partners. The only prohibition on sex in the Scripture relates to extramarital or premarital activity. Without question, the Bible is abundantly clear on that subject, condemning all such conduct.
God is the creator of sex. He set our human drives in motion, not to torture men and women, but to bring them enjoyment and fulfillment. Keep in mind how it all came about. Adam was unfulfilled in the Garden of Eden. Although he lived in the world’s most beautiful garden, surrounded by tame animals of every sort, he had no companionship with his own kind. God then took some flesh from Adam and performed another creative miracle—woman—similar to man in every respect except her physical reproductive system. Instead of being opposites, they were complementary to each other. What kind of God would go out of His way to equip His special creatures for an activity, give them the necessary drives to consummate it, and then forbid its use? Certainly not the loving God presented so clearly in the Bible. Romans 8:32 assures us, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” When we look at it objectively, we realize that sex was given at least in part for marital enjoyment.
For further proof that God approves lovemaking between married partners, consider the beautiful story that explains its origin. Of all God’s creations only the human being was made “in the image of God” (Gen. 1:27). This in itself makes humans the unique living creatures on the earth. The next verse further states, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number’” (v. 28). Then He delivered His personal comment regarding all His creation:
Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. When a couple’s sexual love life is unsatisfactory, it produces much stress in their relationship. Men who are disinterested and women who are averse to sex increase tension in the home, and this tension is often followed by unkind and selfish expressions or conduct that can be disastrous to a marriage. In many cases an unfulfilled sex life leads to infidelity or divorce.
About five years after the first edition of this book had been published, I spotted a lonely looking woman in her early forties coming into our Sunday evening service. Somehow I was not surprised that she was waiting for me when the service was over. Thinking I had never met her before, she introduced herself—the former wife of my college athlete friend mentioned above. In the twenty years they were married she had borne him four sons, all of whom were separated from their father most of the time now since he had divorced her. Apparently the day came when he could no longer tolerate her self-imposed abstinence or celibacy, and he became attracted to someone who was more responsive to his sexual needs. While his decision to leave his family cannot be condoned in a Christian, I am confident, knowing the youthful character of the man and his commitment to Christ, that it would not have happened if his wife had not been afflicted with an unbiblical mental attitude toward married lovemaking. For as we shall discover later in this book, the most important organ either partner brings to their wedding bed is their brain. It controls all other organs.
The Bible on Sex
Because the Bible clearly and repeatedly speaks out against the misuse or abuse of sex, labeling it “adultery” or “fornication,” many people—either innocently or as a means of trying to justify their immorality—have misinterpreted the teaching and concluded that God condemns all sex. However, the contrary is true. The Bible always speaks approvingly of this relationship—as long as it is confined to married partners. The only prohibition on sex in the Scripture relates to extramarital or premarital activity. Without question, the Bible is abundantly clear on that subject, condemning all such conduct.
God is the creator of sex. He set our human drives in motion, not to torture men and women, but to bring them enjoyment and fulfillment. Keep in mind how it all came about. Adam was unfulfilled in the Garden of Eden. Although he lived in the world’s most beautiful garden, surrounded by tame animals of every sort, he had no companionship with his own kind. God then took some flesh from Adam and performed another creative miracle—woman—similar to man in every respect except her physical reproductive system. Instead of being opposites, they were complementary to each other. What kind of God would go out of His way to equip His special creatures for an activity, give them the necessary drives to consummate it, and then forbid its use? Certainly not the loving God presented so clearly in the Bible. Romans 8:32 assures us, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” When we look at it objectively, we realize that sex was given at least in part for marital enjoyment.
For further proof that God approves lovemaking between married partners, consider the beautiful story that explains its origin. Of all God’s creations only the human being was made “in the image of God” (Gen. 1:27). This in itself makes humans the unique living creatures on the earth. The next verse further states, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number’” (v. 28). Then He delivered His personal comment regarding all His creation:
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