The Accidental Proposal Read Free Page B

himself to a refill. ‘So, where were we? Oh yes. She’d said, “Do you want to get married?’ And you said?’
    I think carefully. ‘Well, yes .’
    ‘And you’re sure she wasn’t talking hypothetically?’
    ‘Of course.
    ‘How?’
    It’s a good question, and I stifle a burp as I think about it. ‘By her reaction, for one thing. When I said yes, I mean.’
    ‘She wasn’t sick, then? Didn’t faint, or show you that she had her fingers crossed all the time and didn’t mean it?’
    ‘Very funny, Dan. No – she . . . she just said, “Good”, then gave me a kiss and went to sleep.’
    ‘Was that all?’
    ‘What do you mean, was that all? Like I said, we’d had a bit to drink, it was late, and she was obviously tired. We both were.’
    ‘Yeah, right.’ He makes a face as he refills his glass. ‘That’s exactly how I’d react if I’d proposed to someone and they’d said yes. By falling asleep. Unless . . .’
    ‘Unless what?’
    ‘Unless she realized she’d made a mistake – or rather, you had – and  was just pretending to be asleep while she worked out what to do next. Lord knows, it probably wouldn’t be the first time a woman’s had to pretend in bed with you.’
    ‘Dan, for the last time, it wasn’t a mistake. On either of our parts.’
    He shrugs, then holds the bottle of Moët out towards me. ‘Well, as long as you’re positive?’
    ‘I am,’ I say, nodding at Dan’s offer of a top-up, while trying to ignore the feeling of doubt that’s starting to creep over me.
    ‘Fine.’ Dan pours some champagne into my glass, then puts the bottle down. ‘And you don’t feel . . . No. Never mind.’
    ‘Never mind what?’
    ‘Nothing.’ He picks his glass up, then holds it up to the light and peers intently into it, as if fascinated by the bubbles. ‘Forget about it.’
    ‘No, come on. You were going to ask me if I felt something.’
    ‘Well . . .’ Dan glances at me out of the corner of his eye. ‘Emasculated. Seeing as she’s the one who did the proposing.’
    ‘No I don’t,’ I say, although the correct answer is probably, Well, I didn’t.
    ‘Because it’s the man’s responsibility, isn’t it?’ he continues. ‘You know, you’re making this huge gesture to her, giving her the biggest thing you can, and she’s taken that opportunity away from you. Although if it were me, she’d already have had the biggest thing I . . .’
    ‘Dan, please.’ I shake my head at him. ‘Besides, it’s the noughties.’
    He sniggers, like he does every time I mention that word, since I made the mistake of telling him it was how Jane and I used to refer to sex.
    ‘So?’
    ‘So women have equal status now.’
    ‘Huh. To you, maybe,’ snorts Dan.
    ‘Piss off,’ I say, although I’m a little impressed that Dan’s managed to be chauvinistic and insult me at the same time. ‘Besides, it’s better, isn’t it?’
    He frowns. ‘How’d you work that one out?’
    ‘Because it is against the norm. So if Sam did propose . . .’
    Dan smirks into his glass. ‘If being the operative word.’
    ‘If Sam did propose, then it means she’s had to make a special effort. Which means she must think I’m pretty special. And doesn’t want to lose me.’
    He mimes sticking his fingers down his throat, then looks at me earnestly. ‘You’d better check, though.’
    ‘What? Why?’
    Dan puts his glass down. ‘Think about it. The relationship’s fine, right? You’re getting along just great as you are, no reason to change the status quo, and suddenly, one of you accidentally proposes to the other one.’
    ‘No one proposes accidentally, Dan.’
    ‘Just hear me out. Say she did. Say the words just . . . slipped out. And before she can go, “I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I meant,” you’ve already said yes. She sees how excited you are by it. How flattered. So how on earth does she get back from there without doing some serious damage?’
    ‘That’s rubbish,’ I say, although not