Tenth Commandment Read Free Page A

bag. I'm going to run your ass ragged. You'll learn.'
    He did, and I did. For the next two years I worked harder than I thought possible, sometimes putting in an eighteen-hour day in my determination to master my new craft.
    There were so many things Dollworth taught me that it would be impossible to list them all. They included a basic education in such matters as criminal and civil law, the right of privacy, and the rules of evidence, and instruction on such practical matters as how to pick a lock, the best methods of shadowing on a crowded street, and what equipment to take along on an extended stakeout. (The first item was an empty milk carton in which one might relieve oneself.)
    In addition to Dollworth's lectures and the actual investigations assigned to me with increasing frequency, I also did a great deal of studying at home. My books were manuals of the New York Police Academy, which Dollworth obtained for me, plus heavy volumes on the law, legal procedures, and criminology which I purchased or borrowed from the public library.
    At the end of my two-year apprenticeship, I felt, with my indefatigable optimism, that I had mastered the arcane mysteries of my new profession, and was well qualified to become Chief Investigator of TORT. I must have conveyed some of this conceit to my mentor, for a few days prior to his retirement, he called me into his office, slammed the door, and delivered himself of the following:
    'You think you know it all, do you? You make me sick, you do! You know nothing. Nothing! A wise wrongo could have you running around in circles, chasing your tail.
    Wait'll you come up against a liar, a good liar. You won't 20
    know if you're coming or going. You're just on the ground floor, kiddo. You got a helluva lot to learn. I seen the way you look at that Yetta Apatoff. If she said jump out the window, out you'd go. But what if a twist exactly like her was a suspect, and you had to get the goods on her? Shit, all you'd see would be B&B, boobs and behind, and she'd take a walk. Bye-bye, birdie. Josh, you've got to learn to doubt everyone. Suspect everyone. It's a hard, cruel world out there, filled with bad guys and millions of others who would be bad if they weren't scared of being caught.
    Never, never believe what people tell you until you check it out. Never, never let your personal feelings interfere with your job. And most of all, never believe that because a woman is beautiful or a man is handsome, successful, and contributes to his church, that they can't be the slimiest crooks in the world. Most of the people you meet will be out to con you. So you just smile and say, "Uh-huh," and start checking them out. Josh, you've got a lot going for you. You got a brain on you, you can get people to open up, and you got a good imagination. Maybe too good. But what worries me most about you is that you're so innocent, so fucking innocent! '
    But my shortcomings had not deterred Roscoe Dollworth from recommending me as his successor. A week later he was off to Florida with a set of matching luggage from the employees of TORT, a $5,000 retirement bonus, and a pair of fine German binoculars I gave him.
    'To watch the pelicans,' I told him.
    'Sure, kid,' he said, hitting my arm. 'Very nice. I'll send you my address. Keep in touch. If I can ever help you out with the Department, let me know.'
    'Thank you, Mr Dollworth,' I said. 'For everything.'
    During the next twenty-six months I was made mournfully aware of the difference between on-the-job training under the tutelage of an experienced investigator and having full responsibility, without supervision, for all 21
    investigative activities of Tabatchnick, Orsini, Reilly, and Teitelbaum.
    First of all, requests for investigations flowed into my office from the three senior partners, seven junior partners (including Tabatchnick II and Orsini II and III), twelve associates, law clerks, paralegal assistants, and the despicable office manager, Hamish Hooter. It took