Tangled Read Free

resolutely at the companion Julian had insisted on employing for her after her first miscarriage well over a year ago.
    She no longer resented his decision. She and Louisa Houghten were friends.

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    David waited on the street until Julian came out of the hotel and joined him. He was glad he had no wife. He would not relish making the decision of whether to take her or whether to leave her behind.
    He did not approve of taking women to war—and contrary to what Lord Aberdeen, the Prime Minister said, he was convinced that there would be war. On the other hand, he did not think
    16 Mary Balogh he would be able to say good-bye to a wife in England, knowing full well that there was a strong chance he would never see her again.
    He did not think he would be able to do it. It had been bad enough saying good-bye to Rebecca a few minutes ago. He closed his eyes briefly. Rebecca. Had he pulled her into his arms, or had she come there herself? It did not matter. Throughout their growing years they had been friends and playmates, almost brother and sister for a while. And Julian had been there in the room with them just now. It had been a natural gesture, to hug each other like that.
    But God, he would not be able to leave her if she were his wife.
    Perhaps he would never see her again.
    "Whew!" Julian said, coming up suddenly beside him. "Fresh air.
    Let's go, Dave."
    "That bad?" David looked at him sympathetically.
    "Worse," Julian said. "Women get intense about these things. At least Becka does. But she doesn't ever have the hysterics or anything like that, I must admit. She can always be counted upon to behave like the true lady she is."
    They were striding along the street in the direction of the sea. As soon as the tide was favorable, they would be sailing.
    "She will not be at the window?" David asked. He would not look back himself.
    "By Jove." Julian turned back, swept off his cap, and waved it in the air, grinning cheerfully. "Poor Becka. She still has not recovered her spirits. She wanted that child badly. She feels a failure as a woman and a wife without children, and other nonsense like that."
    David remembered the whiteness of her face and the blankness of her eyes when he had called on her a few days after her miscarriage.
    "She is better off staying home," Julian said. "Becka wasn't made for the rough life. It's hard leaving her, though. I do love her, Dave, though I know you sometimes doubt it."
    David felt his jaw harden. He did not want to pick up the bait—not at the moment.
    Tangled 17
    "I do," Julian said. "No other woman has ever meant anything to me except Becka. I married her because I love her. There was no other reason."
    "You don't have to defend yourself to me," David said. "I am not your keeper, Julian. Not any longer. And it will mean nothing to you if I say I am disappointed in you. It never did.
    "Well, there you are wrong," Julian said, his good humor deserting him for once. "Your good opinion always mattered to me, Dave.
    More than Father's. I have always admired your self-control and your strength of character.''
    "Strength!" David laughed harshly. "A fine way I had of showing it.
    Allowing you to manipulate me all through boyhood."
    Julian winced. "That was not a kind word to choose, Dave," he said. "You're still angry because of that woman you saw me with in London a week or so ago. She meant less than nothing to me. She was just a whore. I wouldn't even recognize her now if you were to set her before me. It was just that Becka has been ill since losing this child, and even before she lost it I was having to go easy because of her losing the last one.''
    David made a sound of impatience and contempt.
    "I love her," Julian said mulishly.
    "Your marriage is your own concern," David said. "If you choose to risk hurting Rebecca, I can't stop you. But don't expect me ever to lie or cover up for you again. I think I did