her.” I looked around at them, waiting for them to say something. “Please,” I cried, pleading with them.
My mother grabbed my arms. Her manicured fingers pressed a little too hard on my skin, but I didn’t care; it was a distraction from the pain on the inside.
“No, you listen to me. You are fifteen years old. You were driving without an adult, caused an accident, and killed someone. You are in trouble. Now, your father is going to try to get you out of this mess, but you have got to pull yourself together. Do you understand? Be strong.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
So I pulled the shades over my emotions and buried the hurt deep inside of me. I needed to be strong, and the only way I was going to do that was to make sure that I didn’t feel for Tessa at all. I didn’t grieve. And as I tried to forget, a pit of darkness began to grow inside of me, pulling me in, changing me forever.
****
The next few months were hell. Actually, my year was hell, but I didn’t complain. My actions were what put me in that predicament, so I put on my big girl panties and sucked it up. Long story short, because I was driving without actually being a licensed driver, getting into an accident, and killing Tessa, I was charged with vehicular manslaughter and was placed under house arrest for a year. My permit was revoked and I was not allowed to get my license for a couple of years. I was slapped with a shitload of fines, I had to pay for the damages of both vehicles, and had to pay restitution to Tessa’s family.
Everything in my life had changed so drastically. My father gave my mother the mansion and moved to Colorado, and because I was still on house arrest, I couldn’t move with him like I preferred. Knowing that my mother and I weren’t the best of friends, and I would have much rather avoided her than to endure her presences, Taylor stayed behind for me.
It only took a couple of months for my mom to leave on a trip with her new boy toy to travel Europe. We both knew she wasn’t going to come back soon either. It was sad to say, but we knew it was only a matter of time before she disappeared. Her world didn’t revolve around her kids, obviously.
After I was finally free, Taylor and I moved to Colorado with my father, as well, and although it seemed like the storm clouds were bound to drift away, Tessa haunted every moment of my life. The guilt was destroying me, eating me up inside, so I found a couple of new friends and partied my heart out. Drinking seemed to numb the pain I wanted so much to be rid of, but I came to realize that there was no curing me. I was too broken.
Taylor didn’t like the change in me. He complained that I was worse now than I ever was before. He became more of the father than the big brother when it came to watching over me. As much as he wanted to help me, there was no possible way. Because I was out of control, my father shipped me off to boarding school, hoping it would tame me a bit.
But my problems ran deeper than any boarding school could fix. The only thing they accomplished was locking away the lion that roared, demanding to be let out of her cage.
Now, after three years of being in that shit hole, I was finally back.
Chapter One
“Damn it.”
I took in a breath, trying to calm myself down. I was in the backseat of my father’s Rolls-Royce Phantom, and I was just moments away from having a panic attack that I was trying to avoid at all costs. I hated driving in cars. The events of that night never failed to plague my mind. It was harder for me to control the anxiety and the flashbacks I got when I was inside a vehicle, and it was frustrating to no end. My anxiety issue was only half the problem I was facing today. I was returning home for the first time in three years, and I was feeling a bit apprehensive. My family and I didn’t exactly part on good terms and, despite the awkward, phone calls from them every once in a while, we were not exactly a close knit family.