Tales of Freedom Read Free

jokes.’

Four
    THE MAN PAUSED . He stared at Pinprop contemplatively, and then carried on.
    ‘You know, I saw a good joke while I was running. It sort of wore thin after a while, though. The trees had signs on them, the same sign. Do you know what it read?’
    Pinprop sneezed.
    ‘It read: “Room to Let”. And all the signs were different. Some were small, some were big, some were colourful and so on. The best one I saw was carved on the tree trunk and then painted blue and yellow. It made the room feel like a really special room.’
    He paused, and then went on.
    ‘I used to have a good room once. Then it went sour. You know, routines and routines. I used to live with a brother. He was filthy and I was clean. I would spend hours arranging and rearranging the place. We had lots of horrible arguments. You know, about every silly thing. We fought a lot and he always beat me up. Like a child. Do you want to know a secret?’
    Pinprop remained still.
    ‘Well, I’ll tell you anyway. Since you are dumb you can’t tell anybody, can you? Well, the secret is that I killed him.’
    Pinprop nodded.
    ‘Doesn’t that surprise you?’ the Man asked, a little baffled. ‘Isn’t it a little hair-raising?’
    Pinprop was still.
    ‘That’s alright then. You’ve probably murdered someone yourself. Anyway, I killed him. It wasn’t particularly difficult. I simply smashed his head with a hammer.’
    The Man laughed. It was long and perfectly normal laughter. He fell silent. Then:
    ‘After that it was the asylum. And then running. And then you.’

Five
    THERE WAS A long silence, during which the Man studied Pinprop. Then he looked around him, at the clearing, the woods, the sky. He walked round the immobile Pinprop.
    ‘How strange!’ he said. ‘I’ve been talking to myself all this time. I’m not even dreaming. What a bad impression you must have of me. Do you have a bad impression of me?’
    Pinprop remained immobile.
    ‘Do you?’
    Pinprop didn’t move.
    The Man proceeded to shake Pinprop, who did not wake. Then he kicked Pinprop.
    ‘Are you dead or alive?’
    Pinprop groaned sleepily, and nodded.
    ‘This is driving me mad,’ the Man cried.
    He kicked Pinprop a few more times. Pinprop sneezed, but remained still.
    ‘Not again, oh no, not again,’ the Man shouted.
    Striding about the clearing, stamping his feet, and pulling his hair, he worked himself into a frenzy. Then he suddenly stopped. A weird calm came over him.
    ‘Oh, yes. Yes, indeed. It won’t be my fault, yes,’ he said.
    Then he laughed, looked excitedly about the clearing, ran off into the woods, and soon came back with a thick tree-branch in his hand.

Six
    AS THE MAN got to the middle of the clearing Pinprop yawned, stretched, looked up at him, and said:
    ‘Oh, hello. You’ve recovered, have you?’
    The Man stuttered, at a loss.
    ‘Good,’ said Pinprop. ‘Definitely good.’
    ‘Ah, yes,’ replied the Man, perplexed.
    ‘You do look a bit agitated,’ said Pinprop, pointedly. ‘Are you alright?’
    ‘Yes, indeed,’ the Man answered, looking awkwardly at the thick piece of wood in his hands, which he dropped. ‘Em, I was just going to make a fire. It is a bit cold.’
    ‘Good,’ said Pinprop. ‘Definitely so.’
    There was a brief silence.
    ‘You mean you were really asleep all that time?’ the Man asked.
    ‘As asleep as sleep is possible,’ Pinprop replied, nonchalantly. ‘That is if you take into consideration the amount of sleep that is not possible. Why?’
    ‘Well, you see, I was under the impression that you were dumb.’
    ‘Dumb?’ said Pinprop, laughing. ‘I’ve been called many things but not dumb.’
    ‘Well, I was talking to you.’
    ‘Oh. What about?’
    Flustered, the Man said:
    ‘About life, my job, my wife and all that.’
    ‘You mean boredom, of course.’
    ‘Yes, boredom.’
    ‘A profound subject boredom is.’
    ‘Very much so.’

Seven
    THERE WAS ANOTHER long silence. Old Woman clapped her hands