Nadine had no
idea why those words popped out, but now that they had, her breath hitched in
her throat and she wasn’t able to hold back the tears this time. They trickled
down both cheeks as she gazed into Addison’s eyes.
“ Yes. Either way, we will find him.” He gave her hands a squeeze and she started to pull
her right one away so she could wipe her face, but his fingers reached her
cheek before hers could. “I’m sorry this happened.”
He
brushed her tears away, and his touch burned her skin, but not with pain.
Nadine couldn’t stop looking at him. Every erotic thought she’d kept buried for
four years tried to surface, along with the terror and pain she’d pushed down
with those thoughts.
That man’s face rose in her head. She
couldn’t stop it from happening this time. That
man had taken her sense of safety, and her ability to do this. Her ability
to feel anything but fear and mistrust for another man, even a man as familiar
and charming as Addison.
Nadine
jerked her face away from Addison’s hand, pulled her other hand out of his
grasp, and shifted away from him so she could stand. “Thank you for coming over.”
He
looked confused and hurt as he stood to face her. “You’re welcome.”
Nadine
couldn’t look him in the eyes. Too many conflicting emotions competed for
attention right now, and she needed to get him out of here before she spilled
her guts. That would make no sense. She might have known him all her life, but
he’d never been a confidant. She’d never even told her father what that man had done to her.
So
why, then, did she have an overwhelming urge to tell Addison everything? It
must be the strain of knowing her father was missing. That was a logical
explanation, so she clung to it. “When do you plan on leaving for the surface?”
“ As soon as possible. I’m trying to get everything in
order today.”
“ I’m not saying I doubt your abilities, but what makes
you think you can find him when there are already Storm Troopers looking for
him? They worked with him. It’s just as personal for them, isn’t it?”
“ Yes, it is.” He moved his hand, and the gesture caught
her gaze. She watched his hand move toward her, but this time it never touched
her. He pulled it back, and then she finally lifted her gaze to find him
watching her with concern and uncertainty on his face. “It is personal, and
you’re all he has left. I’m doing this for him and for you. I’ve known you all
my life, after all.”
She
let out a small sigh that was halting, uncertain. She had no idea what to say.
She was both overwhelmed by his statement, and frightened of the memories that
now assaulted her. She had to be alone and think through this. “Stay safe up
there.”
“ I will.”
His
expression left no doubt he wished she’d say something else, but the air in her
apartment was suddenly too thick. She needed to be alone right now.
“ Nadine, have I done or said something to upset you?”
Shit. “No. No, not at all. I’m just … I’m
worried about my dad.” Her voice didn’t sound convincing even to her own ears.
He’d never buy it.
“ Of course. I understand. I am, too. I’ll let you know
when we leave, and I will email you as often as possible from the surface.”
She
let out the breath she’d been holding. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I
appreciate that.”
“ My pleasure. You have my Internet phone number and my
personal email. The phone obviously won’t work once I’m topside, but email me
anytime. Even if all you want to do is talk. If I’m in a shelter we can even
set up a video chat if you want to.”
“ Thank you, Addison.”
He
stared at her for a long time, and Nadine was certain he would say something
else, but then he turned and left her apartment. She stood with her back to the
door for what felt like hours while tears ran down her cheeks.
Everything
she’d gone through four years ago came crashing down, along with the
realization that