Taking Chances Read Free

miscarriage?” he asked.
    “Neither.”
    “Do you want me to call him?” He reached into his pocket for his cell phone.
    I looked at him, tears once again spilling down my cheeks. The concern in his eyes was evident. I recognized it should come from me, but I didn’t know if I would even be intelligible over the phone if I kept at it like this. I nodded, and Harvey went outside. My eyes darted around the room, trying to distract myself with whatever I could. Nothing worked.
    Harvey came in and said, “He’s on his way here.” I nodded, and the tears returned. I might just cry forever , I thought to myself. It was silly too, because I had only known about it for three days, and nobody else knew. It’s almost as if it hadn’t even existed.
    But it had. It had started to grow inside me, and something happened to take it away from me. I needed some kind of distraction.
    “Harvey, why were you coming over today?” I asked, willing my breathing to return to normal. “Was it to ask more questions about Natalie?”
    “We don’t have to talk about that now,” he said, crossing one of his legs over the other one.
    “I’d appreciate thinking about something else. So what is it?” I pestered.
    “No really, we’ll talk about it another day. Just remember you promised not to tell Greg or Natalie.”
    “I won’t, but Greg wouldn’t say anything if I asked him not to. You can trust him.”
    Harvey gave an almost inaudible “hmph”, and I narrowed my eyes.
    “What was that?” I asked
    “Nothing, I’ve just been paranoid, and I don’t want Natalie finding out. I’m probably way off base here, anyway.”
    “But what about that ‘hmph’ noise you made after I said you could trust Greg. Has he ever spilled any secrets I don’t know about?” I asked, wishing he’d tell me already instead of being so mysterious about it.
    “No, I’ve never told him any secrets,” was all he said.
    “Harvey, look at me. I’m having a miscarriage, and you’re distressing me further. Can you please stop with the mind games and tell me what you came to my house for?” I was losing my cool and considering throwing him out. My hormones and emotions were all over the place, and I wanted to give into them and scream bloody murder.
    “I don’t want to tell you because it will make you upset,” he said. He must have noticed that I was at the point of unleashing my wrath because he immediately amended, “But I suppose there’s no other way out now.” He drew in a deep breath and sat forward. “I have my suspicions that Natalie and Greg are having an affair,” he said, letting it hang in the air. I froze. That I was not expecting. I thought he was just going to accuse Natalie. But Greg? With Natalie? I laughed. Loudly. Harvey simply watched me laughing like a madwoman until I tried to compose myself.
    “You’re nuts,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes.
    “I have my reasons.”
    “Yes, I’m sure you do. Listen, it’s been a good distraction, really, but I think you’ve gone off the deep end here. What you’re saying is so ridiculous. Look, here comes the nurse. Why don’t you just go home? Greg should be here soon. Thanks for bringing me.” He must have known I would not buy into his disturbing fantasies because he walked out without another word.
    It wasn’t a nurse, but it was a radiology tech named Susan. She was middle-aged, and she did my ultrasound with the kind of smile that said she knew she would be delivering some bad news. It was the doctor who came in at that moment, a Dr. Hearst, that told me. I had miscarried, and he was very sorry. He said it happens often in early pregnancy, and I shouldn’t blame myself because there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. Greg walked in at that last thing the doctor said, and that’s when I started crying again.
    It was all sinking in, the finality of it, and I let Greg do all the talking to the doctor as I slipped into a dark mental abyss. He stroked my