Tainted Read Free

serious at school, who studied hard and who didn’t go in for silly teenage stuff. Which may have set you apart from the pack, but it wasn’t a pack you wanted to join. You had a different world, a world of your own, a much more adult one. You’re an old-fashioned girl.”
    â€œYeah, it’s me again. Yeah, it was a fucking tiny sandwich. So what do you think? If I wear that black top with the pink pants—you think that will send the right signals?”
    He threw up his hands in a gesture of surrender and drew back from her.
    â€œIt’s useless. No one knows how to put a sock in it. Wankers. Listen, I think I’m going to take a kip for a while—a nap, I mean.” He put his hand in his pocket, pulled out a small iPod. “We can’t talk properly with the cellphone screamer in full flow, so I’m going to tune out. I don’t mean to be rude. But I had a late night last night. I need to recharge. Sorry.”
    â€œYou don’t have to apologize,” she said quickly. “No problem.”
    â€œYou don’t mind?” he smiled.
    â€œI don’t mind.”
    Putting his earphones in, Jack Dane leaned back in his seat, fiddled with the iPod controls and closed his eyes.
    Holly was still feeling his physical presence, the closeness of him. She’d felt something almost like it once before, the time she danced with Billy. Billy’s sweater had smelled of autumn leaves; he’d held her close to his chest, she’d breathed in the scent, she’d felt herself melt into him. When they’d had sex a few weeks later, there’d been no melting, only his rank desire and her desperation.
    Looking out the window, she saw that they were passing the Foxboro racetrack, so they’d reach the junction with Route 495 soon. Which meant they didn’t have that much farther until they arrived in Shoreham.
    There were certain types of people who took pleasure in telling you about yourself, Holly knew. Anna being a prime example. “I saw this great ad for white-water rafting. I might go. You’d hate it though, Holly, I know. You never take risks,” or, “Hey, Holl—I was going to buy you a skimpy top for your birthday but I knew you’d never wear it.”
    Exactly how, Holly wanted to ask, did Anna know? Maybe Holly would have liked white-water rafting, or the skimpy top. I took a risk, she’d wanted to yell. I took a huge risk with Katy. But Anna had her typecast as a mouse from the age of thirteen and nothing Holly could ever do would change that.
    Jack Dane was different. Out of nowhere, he’d looked straight into her and pulled out the truth of her early teenage years. Aside from her unlikely friendship with Anna, Holly had been apart from the pack. She had had her own world—with her parents, her books, her imagination. And yes, it had been largely an adult world, although she’d never thought of it in that way before.
    The only part Jack Dane was wrong about was her not wanting to join the pack. She’d wanted to, all right. But she hadn’t known how to. She was so self-conscious, she felt paralyzed. Other girls could be wild and fun and funny, but she felt as though she was outside herself, watching, and would appear foolish if she tried to join in. Every time she had worked up the courage to make an effort, she’d been ignored. Not rebuffed exactly—no one bullied her or was mean. They just didn’t notice her, except as Anna’s friend.
    â€œI can’t figure out why Anna hangs out with Holly Barrett,” she’d overheard a girl named Debby say in the gym one afternoon. “I mean, what’s the deal? Holly Barrett isn’t exactly a winner. What’s Anna doing with her?”
    â€œShe probably does Anna’s homework for her,” another girl, Wendy, had replied.
    And Wendy had been right.
    â€œHey.” Jack Dane nudged her, offering her one of his earphones.