Switched Read Free

she asked.
    I put a handful of a popcorn-M&M’s mixture into my mouth and started chewing.
    “Are you still in your wedding dress?” she asked.
    “I took it off yesterday,” I said. “Too many Cheetos stains.”
    I was lying on the couch in my bridal bra and panties, covered with an afghan my mother crocheted for me before she died ten years ago. If she were alive, she would make me homemade fudge and brush my hair until I felt better.  I sniffled at the memory.
    “We’re four days in,” Stacy said. “I wish I were there for you.” She was in New York for a two-week shoot. She had offered to stay in Chicago to take care of me, but the shoot was too important for her career, and I really wanted to be alone.
    “I’m fine,” I said. “Guido’s Twenty-Four-Hour Pizza and Groceries delivers. They’re taking care of me. I ate a large sausage pizza and a box of Milk Duds for breakfast.”
    “Lord, we’re going to have to grease your hips to squeeze you through your front door.”
    “That’s the thing,” I said. “Even with all the junk food I’m eating, I haven’t gained any weight. Even fat doesn’t want to stay with me.” I broke down and cried into my popcorn-M&M’s.
    “Damn this shoot,” Stacy said after a minute of my blubbering. “I wish I could be there. I wish I killed Jerkface three years ago when he got the taxi for me and took you to the emergency room. I shouldn’t have left you then, and I shouldn’t have left you now. I can’t even find him now to kill him.”
    “He’s in Bora Bora,” I said.
    “How do you know? Did you talk to him?”
    “He posted it on Facebook before he unfriended me. He went on our honeymoon without me.” I rolled onto my side and took a bite of a slice of pizza I found wedged between the cushions.
    Stacy’s breathing grew heavy, like she was getting ready to blow. “Jerkface,” she breathed. “What did your brother say?”
    My brother, Richard, was ten years older than me and the only family I had. He was also a lawyer, and Stacy was sure he could sue Jackson for the condo or something. Richard was sympathetic but said there was nothing to do except to vacate the condo in five weeks.
    “And I know a debt relief guy who can help you out,” he told me with a distinct note of disapproval in his voice. I had failed in his estimation, either because of my choices or because I wasn’t good enough to keep Jackson. In any case, I cut the conversation short. I told my brother I wasn’t feeling well—which wasn’t a lie—because more than having my heart carved out, it hurt to have my big brother disapprove of me.
    Still, no matter how much I didn’t want to let him down, I couldn’t get myself off of the couch. I couldn’t go back to work. And I couldn’t stop crying.
    “Will you think about showering today?” Stacy asked me on the phone.
    I sighed.
    “Just think about it,” she continued. “That would be a start. Think about using that giant Jacuzzi tub in your marble bathroom. I mean, you should use it before you get kicked out of there.”
    My breath hitched, and I stuffed some more popcorn in my mouth. There was a long, awkward silence over the phone.
    “Oh, my God, my God, my God that probably wasn’t the smartest best friend remark to make,” Stacy said. “Sorry.”
    “I’ll be okay,” I croaked. “I’ll probably stop hurting in five or six years. Besides, you’re right. I’ll take a bath.”
    I hung up and called Guido’s for Pop-Tarts, chocolate cream soda, and a hoagie. Then I turned back to my Christmas marathon on TV just in time to see the end of While You Were Sleeping and the beginning of The Holiday .
    The movie got my attention. Kate Winslet was crying on TV because the love of her life dumped her. She wept uncontrollably. For the first time in four days, I focused on something besides myself. I related to Kate Winslet. She was my sister in misery.
    I started crying in sync with her. It felt good to have somebody