home feeling lousy. Mom got hyper again. ‘My baby’s got more spots. It must be measles. Let me feel your head . . . oh no—you’re hot! You must have malaria. Or dengue? My god, you have dengue! From those mosquitoes. Or you could have that thing where your brain starts swelling—see all those lumps on your head—oh no! You also have a red gash on your cheek!’ And then she wiped my ‘red gash’ to find out it was only her lipstick. That shut her up for a while, and she went off to google what else I could possibly have got.
I sat near Gra who’s always busy. I love looking at what he’s up to and talking to him, though I know he can’t hear half of what I say. He was pouring some orange stuff into a jar now.
‘I am no good at being a superhero, Gra. I just don’t think I have it in me, y’know.’
He looked up at me and squinted. ‘What?’
‘I AM NO GOOD,’ I said louder. ‘NO GOOD!’
‘No food, I know, I know,’ he muttered. ‘There’s never any food here. Your mother can’t cook to save her life. I’m making guava jam. You want a lick?’
So I sat and licked a spoon of jam and told Gra about my rotten school day and finally ate half the jar of guava jam, and got a thumping tummy ache! (Mom is now googling diseases that have red spots and brain lumps and stomach pain.)
Itch, itch!
6. Don’t attack the good people
The day of the Great Rescue came. Anna Conda was sliding around the city, followed by Vamp Iyer and Slime Joos . . . and a big coconut tree branch (which, if you looked carefully . . . was me in disguise! You thought I’d really sit back quietly and let them do all the brave stuff?)
We went up one street and down another—nothing.
Our city has a lot of tall buildings in the office area, and the streets are usually blocked up with cars and people in a hurry. Only if you go out into the suburbs will you find pretty houses. And if you go further, to the blue hills on the edge of the city, you’ll find our Superhero School. We’re hidden in the middle of the hills, among tall pine trees. It’s a pretty place to have a school full of nutjobs.
‘HELP!’ The cry came from around the street corner.
Anna Conda slid over in a second. I saw her long tail disappear around the corner, with the other two charging behind.
My coconut branch and I went chasing after them, s-l-o-w-l-y. It’s a little tough to run with a long cape and duckie undies and a coconut branch, you know.
‘Stop him! He stole my gold chain,’ a hysterical red-faced woman was screaming and pointing. Of course, there were so many people on the roads that I had no idea who she was pointing at.
Anna Conda streaked after someone with a vegetable basket.
Vamp Iyer tried to grab someone selling sun shades by the neck.
Slime Joos started spurting slime at a whole bunch of tourists with cameras.
So, who do you think was the wisest? Me, of course. I ran at the woman. I would be smart and logical. ‘Tell me what happened,’ I said, going up to her and patting her arm to calm her down.
‘Help!’ she screamed again. ‘Here’s another one! He’s trying to steal my bangles!’ She began to pummel me with her handbag, and suddenly, there was a whole crowd of people around us.
‘Where’s her chain, you thief?’
‘Small boy like you and so evil!’
‘No, no!’ I protested, ‘I’m the good guy!’
‘Then why are you hiding in coconut trees and attacking women?’
As the crowd began to grow, with me protesting my innocence and getting nowhere, I changed tactics. I managed to slide between their legs and run. A few gave chase. I ran as fast as I could, my legs pumping and the stupid cape flying behind. Someone would just grab that cape now and pull me . . .
. . . up . . .
. . . up into a tree! Huh? I found myself on a branch, wrapped up by a snake!
Anna Conda uncoiled herself from around me and before I could even say ‘Thank you’ she glared at me. ‘Next time, just stay back in
I sat near Gra who’s always busy. I love looking at what he’s up to and talking to him, though I know he can’t hear half of what I say. He was pouring some orange stuff into a jar now.
‘I am no good at being a superhero, Gra. I just don’t think I have it in me, y’know.’
He looked up at me and squinted. ‘What?’
‘I AM NO GOOD,’ I said louder. ‘NO GOOD!’
‘No food, I know, I know,’ he muttered. ‘There’s never any food here. Your mother can’t cook to save her life. I’m making guava jam. You want a lick?’
So I sat and licked a spoon of jam and told Gra about my rotten school day and finally ate half the jar of guava jam, and got a thumping tummy ache! (Mom is now googling diseases that have red spots and brain lumps and stomach pain.)
Itch, itch!
6. Don’t attack the good people
The day of the Great Rescue came. Anna Conda was sliding around the city, followed by Vamp Iyer and Slime Joos . . . and a big coconut tree branch (which, if you looked carefully . . . was me in disguise! You thought I’d really sit back quietly and let them do all the brave stuff?)
We went up one street and down another—nothing.
Our city has a lot of tall buildings in the office area, and the streets are usually blocked up with cars and people in a hurry. Only if you go out into the suburbs will you find pretty houses. And if you go further, to the blue hills on the edge of the city, you’ll find our Superhero School. We’re hidden in the middle of the hills, among tall pine trees. It’s a pretty place to have a school full of nutjobs.
‘HELP!’ The cry came from around the street corner.
Anna Conda slid over in a second. I saw her long tail disappear around the corner, with the other two charging behind.
My coconut branch and I went chasing after them, s-l-o-w-l-y. It’s a little tough to run with a long cape and duckie undies and a coconut branch, you know.
‘Stop him! He stole my gold chain,’ a hysterical red-faced woman was screaming and pointing. Of course, there were so many people on the roads that I had no idea who she was pointing at.
Anna Conda streaked after someone with a vegetable basket.
Vamp Iyer tried to grab someone selling sun shades by the neck.
Slime Joos started spurting slime at a whole bunch of tourists with cameras.
So, who do you think was the wisest? Me, of course. I ran at the woman. I would be smart and logical. ‘Tell me what happened,’ I said, going up to her and patting her arm to calm her down.
‘Help!’ she screamed again. ‘Here’s another one! He’s trying to steal my bangles!’ She began to pummel me with her handbag, and suddenly, there was a whole crowd of people around us.
‘Where’s her chain, you thief?’
‘Small boy like you and so evil!’
‘No, no!’ I protested, ‘I’m the good guy!’
‘Then why are you hiding in coconut trees and attacking women?’
As the crowd began to grow, with me protesting my innocence and getting nowhere, I changed tactics. I managed to slide between their legs and run. A few gave chase. I ran as fast as I could, my legs pumping and the stupid cape flying behind. Someone would just grab that cape now and pull me . . .
. . . up . . .
. . . up into a tree! Huh? I found myself on a branch, wrapped up by a snake!
Anna Conda uncoiled herself from around me and before I could even say ‘Thank you’ she glared at me. ‘Next time, just stay back in
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