Storky Read Free Page B

know.
    While Gina jabbered about the Hunk, Mom gave me pity stares. At one point, Mom held this big pile of knives in her hand, like to stab Gina if she said one more stupid thing about the Incredible Hunk. I guess it’s obvious I have a crush on her. Or maybe Mom read my journal.
    MOM, IF YOU’RE READING THIS RIGHT NOW, I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU’RE TOTALLY VIOLATING MY TRUST AND SCREWING UP MY PSYCHE, AND IF YOU EVER DO IT AGAIN, I’LL RUN AWAY FROM HOME OR SOMETHING. ALSO, DUMP DR. BERMAN.

Thursday, September 23
    In my quest to show Gina what a nice guy I am, and to get Mom to stop nagging me, and because Amanda was blaring Bridges of Madison County on TV tonight, I went with Mom to Golden Village.
    I got to play Scrabble. Against an old geezer in a wheelchair though. Called himself Duke. His real name is probably Wilbert or something. Within the first 6 minutes, he put down two 7-letter words I never heard of. After I challenged him on wych and lost my turn, he did an annoying laugh involving a lot of head bobbing. I just sighed.
    He said, “You seem glum.” Glum. Geezer expression meaning bummed. I said, “You’re kicking my butt.” Then he goes, “But you seemed glum when you got here. Not that you’re exactly at Disneyland.” He leaned his wrinkly face into mine and said, “Don’t listen when people tell you high school is the best time of your life. It’s mostly crap about popularity, and jock worship, and tests on subjects you have no use for.”
    And I’m like, “Don’t forget pimples. Zits can really make a person glum.” And he nodded like one of those bobble-head dolls.
    Great pep talk. But, I don’t know, I guess it was good to hear someone else say high school sucked. Even an ancient guy.
    He ended up winning the game. Beat me by more than 100 points. Afterward, I had to shake his hand. It felt like a peach that you forgot about in the refrigerator for 3 weeks.
    Mom’s pretty great, I guess, to go over there every week. Duke said if I come back, he’ll give me some Scrabble tips. I don’t think I have it in me.

Saturday, September 25
    I’m so busted. Nate says Mom looked like she wanted to kill me on the ride home last night. But I’m still alive, so it was worth it.
    What a night. Went to my first high school football game. We got there really early because Nate wanted to sit right in front of the cheerleaders. We could see their nipples all perked up in the cold air. We bought some 7UPs at the snack stand, and then Nate took out this bottle of vodka from his jacket pocket. He said he swiped it from his mom. At first I felt like my mouth was on fire, but after a few sips I sort of got used to it.
    Gina sat right next to me. First she came up behind me and covered my eyes. As soon as she said, “Guess who” in her sweet high voice, I knew it was her. I said, “Principal Craterface,” and Gina cracked up. When she laughed, her boobs moved up and down against my back. I think it was her boobs. I’m pretty sure I felt them.
    She was dressed all cute, in this tight little furry sweater that didn’t even go to her waist. And she had noisy bracelets all over her arm. She smelled like an orange grove. Either she’d just eaten a lot of citrus fruit or she had on really strong perfume. She was with Heather Kvaas, a total babe who looks like Reese Witherspoon minus the chin. Heather’s like, “Don’t they call you Storky?” Which nearly ruined my night until Nate said, “He’s Mike to us friends,” and she goes, “Okay. Mike.”
    Nate gave a cup to Gina. She took a gulp and said, “Ooh, Vodka and 7,” like she’s been drinking these things for years. I couldn’t believe it was Gina.
    Sydney Holland from Spanish class and another girl, Miranda something, sat behind us. Miranda whispered that we were lowlifes, and tried to get Sydney to move away from us. I like being called Lowlife. Especially compared to Storky. I like Sydney too. She’s still the only 10th grader who ever said