Stink: The Incredible Shrinking Kid Read Free Page A

pants. Stink wore pants! Same-same!
    More people should know about James Madison. They should have a statue of James Madison in the park. Or carve his head on the side of Mt. Trashmore. They should sing about him in the state song.
    That gave Stink an idea. A great big Presidents’ Day idea.
    All the way home from school, Stink made up words for the state song. He sang it to the tune of
Frère Jacques.
He sang it for Mom. He sang it for Dad.
    “Ja-ames Mad-i-son
Ja-ames Mad-i-son
Num-ber four, num-ber four
Changed his hair to white
Wrote the Bill of Rights
Ding, dang, dong
We love you.”
    “That’s great!” said Mom. “I don’t think we have a Virginia state song.”
    “There’s a state bird. And a state flower,” said Dad.
    “And a Virginia state quarter,” said Judy.
    State quarter! Of course! Lincoln was on a penny. Washington was on a dollar. James Madison should be on the Virginia state quarter!
    “Can I use your smelly markers?” Stink asked Judy.
    “No,” said Judy. “You never put the caps back on.”
    “Newton,” said Stink. “N-E-W-T-O-N. Poor little newt.
GRRRRRRR.
” Stink made a garbage disposal noise.
    “Oh, go ahead,” said Judy. “But that’s IT. I’m not going to let you keep pulling a NEWTON on me!”
    Stink sniffed a grape marker. He sniffed a blueberry marker. He sniffed a black licorice marker.
Yum, yum!
    He drew an outline of James Madison’s head. On either side of it, he drew a quill pen and a number 4. Below it he wrote
E Pluribus Constitution.

    Then he wrote a letter to the governor.





 
    “Mom! Stink’s doing homework again!” Judy said.
    “You can’t tell on me for doing homework,” said Stink.
    “Homework, schmome-work. Let’s do something good.”
    “My homework’s good.”
    “What’s your homework?” asked Mom.
    “Presidents’ Day.”
    “You’re not dressing up as a human flag again, are you?” asked Judy.
    “No. I have to tell what Presidents’ Day means to me.”
    “Stink, everybody knows what Presidents’ Day means. Presidents’ Day means your teacher reads you a book about George Washington’s teeth and Abraham Lincoln’s beard. Presidents’ Day means you make stuff out of Popsicle sticks, like a log cabin or a flag.”
    “Nuh-uh,” said Stink.
    “Presidents’ Day means you draw three circles. One for Lincoln, one for Washington, and one in the middle for the stuff that’s the same about both.”
    “It’s called a Venn diagram,” Mom said.
    “My homework is what it means to
me.
Not what it means to Mr. Venn.”
    “Good for you,” Mom said. “What
does
Presidents’ Day mean to
you
?”
    “Two words,” said Stink.
    “Washington and Lincoln,” said Judy.
    “James Madison,” said Stink.
    Stink got out a bag of cotton balls. Stink made an old-timey James Madison wig. Judy helped him glue cotton balls to her old Brownie cap.
    “Pass the glue,” said Stink. “Quit hogging.”

    “Not so much!” said Judy. Stink didn’t listen. He just kept gluing more cotton balls. “Let’s see how it looks,” said Stink.
    “It has to dry first, or all the cotton balls will fall off,” Judy told him.
    “Let’s dry it in the dryer, then,” Stink said.
    “Genius!” said Judy.
    Stink put the wig in the dryer. “Press START ,” said Stink. “I can’t reach.”
    Judy pressed the fluff-and-tumble button. They waited.
Ga-lump, ga-lump.
They waited some more. The buzzer went off.
“Voilà!”
said Judy, pulling out the wig.
    “YIPES!” yelled Stink. “I said press START. Not SHRINK . Now it looks like . . . an elf wig. An
ant
wig.”

    “YOU put it in the dryer,” said Judy.
    “YOU pressed the button,” said Stink.
    “Never mind. We can put powder in your hair. Like James Madison.”
    “You mean
I
can put powder in my hair,” said Stink. “Just to make sure it doesn’t turn orange or anything.”
    “BOR-ing,” said Judy.
    On Friday, Webster read his report aloud first. It was about making red, white, and blue