I’d really meant it, I’d have escaped the one-handed grip he had on my wrists. My struggles were for show—and to goad him further. Something he understood, because he made a tsking sound and straightened behind me.
A slap landed on my right buttock. Not a playful one. He’d left his mark on my ass, something he’d never done before, something he’d never have allowed another guy to do. My heart hammered in my chest, and I renewed my fight, this time rocking to try to dislodge him, but he struck again and again, leaving fiery, fingerprint welts on my tender skin.
“Do you like that?”
“No!”
“Sure about that, baby?” He swatted me again, but then traced a finger down the crevice of my ass. When he touched my puckered hole, I gasped. “That guy in Boise. He wanted to fuck this,” he said, circling his fingertip. “I nearly came unglued. Had to shove him right off the mattress. Might even have broken his dick, he made so much noise. Know why?”
I shook my head, all the while wiggling hard to dislodge him, but he tickled me there then pushed a thick fingertip inside me. I froze.
“What the fuck, Quinn! I didn’t let him. I wouldn’t have.”
“Because you didn’t want him?”
“Because I wanted it to be you!”
His finger stilled inside me then slowly circled, dragging around and around. It burned there, and I was embarrassed, but more fluid leaked from my pussy. He could have pulled out his finger and used his dick instead, and I wouldn’t have said no. What I’d said was true. I’d saved one thing, one act, for him. Or at least, I’d imagined I’d saved my back-door virginity, because never in my wildest dreams had I believed we’d be here.
His finger withdrew, and he lifted off my thighs and left the bed. The sound of water running gave me the chance to breathe and to wipe the tears I hadn’t known were there on the coverlet.
When his footsteps padded back, I turned my head to stare at the opposite wall.
The bed dipped. A hand smoothed over the hot welts on my butt. The he gripped my shoulders and turned me again. He climbed over me, gently lowering his body over mine, trapping me with his weight and his legs opening to enclose mine. And then he caught my wrists and pulled my hands above my head.
I was trapped beneath him, unable to move, unable to escape his dark, troubled gaze.
“I’m sorry, Viv. I didn’t mean for us to start this way. But you make me crazy. Every day, in the bus, on the stage, all I have to do is look at you and I have to fight what’s inside me. I get so fucking hard, and so freaking angry, that I can’t just pick you up and fuck you where you stand.”
I started to open my mouth, to shout at him, Then why the hell didn’t you? But he shook his head.
“What I feel for you is different than anything I’ve ever felt for another girl. I want to own you. Want to crawl inside yours skin and stay there. I can’t be gentle. Can’t be civilized.” He dropped his forehead against mine. “Maybe you were right. Maybe we just shouldn’t go there.”
I began to tremble. My breasts grew taut, nipples sprung. I rolled my belly to rub against his dick trapped between our bodies.
“Quinn…I…” I pulled in a deep breath. “I don’t want you…civilized.”
His head lifted, his gaze speared me. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
But I did. I watched him night after night, flinging himself around the stage, a sleek animal, barely restrained. Sometimes he needed a soothing hand, sometimes he needed to unleash. “I do. I promise. I don’t want tame… or safe. I want you—all of you. The rough and the gentle.”
He let go of my hands and slid his hands beneath my butt, gripping my tender flesh. I winced and his nostrils flared. “Do you understand? Really? I hate that I left those marks, but I love that they’re mine.”
I kept my hands next to my head, and lay still, just my breath moving my chest against his. “Since I know you don’t