happens to you anymore, and you sure don’t give a crap about what’s going on in anyone else’s life!”
“I do!”
“Really? When did you last asked how my job was going? If I’d met anyone?”
He had a point, there. Evie crumpled a little.
“And you’re so fuckin’ unpredictable—we seem to get along fine for a while, then you say something about me having to leave home! I can’t deal with you throwing that in my face all the time. I had to go. It wasn’t for shits or giggles or to abandon you—it was so I could fucking breathe! Don’t you get that?”
“Of course I fucking do!” She felt like hurling something through the window. “You of all people know what Ned’s like! I couldn’t breathe there without you, so why are you always riding me about moving out and earning my own way?”
“I don’t give you a hard time about that.”
“You really do. Like your comment earlier about how I look after work? You couldn’t have made me feel smaller or sluttier if you’d tried.”
“I get the moving out part.” Kevin sighed and sat heavily on the side of the bed next to her. “I’m just struggling with the choice-of-job part. But whenever I try talking to you about the clientele there, you act like I’m giving you the third degree. You know how worry can grind you down? Well… I’ve been doing a lot of it, and I don’t know how much longer I can handle it. You’ve got to let me in, Evie.”
He put his hand over hers. “Why check out of life the way you have? You’ve been acting like some stupid kid these last six months and you’re anything but. You’re super-smart. You were acing school!”
“It’s hard not to act like…” Evie felt the sobs rising faster than she could push them back. “Some stupid kid… when that’s the only way I’m treat—”
“Hey! Oh hell, I didn’t mean…”
As Kevin wrapped his arms round her, the need to cry took over completely.
She wanted to tell him that she wasn’t mad at him for having to leave—she was mad at him for leaving her behind so completely once he’d moved out. She let it all go, looping her arms round his neck and holding on like she’d wanted to for months. It seemed an eternity until she was able to sit up and wipe her face dry.
“It’s your fault I quit school.” She sniffed.
“Huh?”
“I mean… I was acing it because you were so… so proud of me. You asked so many questions, you were so interested, I had to keep up. Then…” She met his eyes. “When you left home, that stopped. Ned put such pressure on me to keep up the grades, but...”
“Sounds like him. You should’ve heard him the time I pointed out that life was a wilderness and that there really were no rules. He nearly went apeshit. Only time I’ve ever been scared of my old man.” Kevin gave a nervous chuckle and squeezed her hand. “It’s true, though. If vet work isn’t for you, we need to figure out what is. And it has to be something that doesn’t involve another four years of asphyxiating pressure.”
She nodded tearfully, looking over at the Kevin she’d missed, the guy who looked out for her and understood exactly what was going on in her head. At nearly thirty, he was only six years older but could get through to her gently and directly in a way that guys her own age just couldn’t master. The Kevin she missed made her feel special and capable. Lovable. Evie took a deep breath.
“You’re the only one that gets me, you know? I got mad because I missed you so much.”
“Missed you, too.” Kevin walked round the bed, got his legs under the covers and stretched out next to her, pulling her back to his front, and laying her down till her face was on his bicep. “This is going to get a little cramped, right?”
Evie felt his heat press through the borrowed tank top and luxuriated in it, soaking in the feeling of safety. She held onto the arms wrapping round her, grateful for how heavy her eyelids felt. “I’m not