Standup Guy Read Free

perfect for the occasion,” Stone said.
    “I won’t be wearing Chanel suits often after tonight,” she said. “I’ll have to expand my J. Crew wardrobe, though. They’re bringing some things for me to look at tomorrow.”
    “Are you nervous about this meeting?”
    “I am. It’s the first time I’ve ever asked for anyone’s support, except for Will. Will you introduce me when everyone’s here?”
    “Of course. Is there anything in particular you’d like me to say?”
    “Just say what Will would say, if he were here. Thank them for their letters, which Will turned over to me, and explain his hands-off position.”
    “He’s serious about it, then?”
    “Dead serious. He says he won’t even discuss it with me. And explain to them that they shouldn’t try to discuss it with him.”
    “You know this is going to be in the papers tomorrow, don’t you?”
    “I wouldn’t be shocked,” she replied. “Someone will blab, it’s human nature, I suppose.”
    The doorbell rang, and Kate led Stone into the living room to await the guests while the butler answered the door.
    • • •
    Half an hour later, all of the invitees had arrived and were at least halfway through their first drink. Kate nodded at Stone; he stood and tapped his signet ring loudly against his glass, then set down his drink. Silence fell.
    “Good evening to all of you,” Stone said. “My name is Stone Barrington. I know some of you and look forward to getting to know you all over the next few months. The president was unable to join us, as he has an extremely important appointment to hear some jazz down in the Village.”
    That got a good laugh.
    “And, I should tell you, that wasn’t a joke. The president won’t be joining us at any of our meetings or speaking to any of us or anyone else about the subject of this meeting. He recognizes that this is the beginning of an unusual—no, a
unique
political campaign, and he believes he can best serve the interests of his party and his country by staying the hell out of it. So, please, when you next see him, make no reference to Kate and her campaign. He did want you to know, however, that after the convention has made its choice, he will have a great deal to say about his wife’s campaign to you and to anybody else who will listen. Now, Kate wants to talk to us and tell us how we can help.” He turned and extended a hand toward the first lady.
    “Ladies, gentlemen, you know why you are all here, because you started this. You were kind enough to get together and write individually to Will, suggesting a course of action. Will immediately turned your letters over to me, and told me to get on with it, if that’s what I wanted to do. That
is
what I want to do, and I am going to need your continuing help and advice. Since this is all your fault, you are now the steering committee for my campaign.”
    “How much is it going to cost us, Kate?” someone called from the back of the room.
    “All I want from you is your friendship, your affection, your wisdom . . . and a check for a million dollars payable to a superPAC that’s being set up as we speak.” Loud laughter. “And that’s just for starters, because I am going to ask each of you—at the moment we secure the nomination—to get on the phone and start raising twenty-five million dollars each, and the smaller thecontributions, the better. That will give us half a billion dollars to run on—about half of what we’ll need for the whole campaign.
    “Now, I know it will be difficult for all of us not to discuss this with anyone else—spouses, lovers, business associates, barbers, bookies—but every day you can keep your mouth shut about this evening and our mutual intentions, the stronger the move we make will be when we make it. I’m doing half a dozen exit interviews while I’m in New York, and I don’t want to have to face questions about my political intentions. At this moment, you are the only people who know of my