Somewhere on Maui (an Accidental Matchmaker Novel) Read Free

what point will I disclose to my Internet-generated dates that this is a research article? And what will I learn about dating and relationships in the process?”
    The tiny crease between the psychologist’s brows deepened. “I see a number of concerns here, not just for you but for others. What if you do meet someone you really like? At what point are you going to tell them you are writing an article on Internet dating and they’re just ‘research’?”
    Zoe snorted. “I’m not going to meet anyone I like. Seriously? I couldn’t even put up a truthful bio. I can’t stand for anyone to reject the ‘real me,’ so I made a fake me.” She found herself twisting her fingers in her lap. “This is just a story, and I’ll make it entertaining, but quite frankly, the chances of meeting someone nice…” Zoe found her throat closing. She grabbed a tissue out of the box on the table and pressed it to her eyes.
    “You’re hurting, and that’s okay.” Dr. Suzuki’s voice felt like cool water on a burn. “I would just hate to see you be further hurt, or for you to hurt someone else, by deception. Fake identities have a way of catching up to you.”
    “I can’t be myself right now,” Zoe said from behind the tissues. “I can’t stand being out there for people to critique. It was so hard just to put the bio up.”
    “So tell me more about your work and how you got into journalism.” Dr. Suzuki was helping her move away from emotionality, for which Zoe was grateful. She filled the psychologist in on how she’d majored in communications, imagining herself as a TV journalist initially but had fallen in love with writing nonfiction.
    “I get interested in something. My mom says I was just born with an extra dose of curiosity. I investigate what I’m interested in, and I write about it in a way that entertains and educates,” she said. “I got hired after graduation as an intern at Time magazine, then went on to write for them for several years but found I was more interested in softer topics, relationship and psychology stuff. I ended up writing and editing at a women’s magazine for the last ten years—but then the divorce happened, and I decided my career was one of the things that had been getting stale. I decided to go independent when I moved to Maui.”
    “So tell me about what brings you here. To Maui.” They’d touched on this before, but Zoe could tell Dr. Suzuki hadn’t been satisfied with her “I’m having trouble adjusting to the life of my dreams” answer from her first session.
    Zoe sighed. “I’ve been to therapy before, so I know it can help. I’m having trouble sleeping, then I oversleep and stay in bed all day. Sometimes I feel anxious leaving the house. It’s so sad because this is what I wanted, what I always wanted—but with Rex, my husband. We dreamed we’d be self-employed and live somewhere gorgeous and enjoy nature every day.”
    “And you’re doing your dream without Rex.”
    “Yeah. I keep thinking about how and why we got divorced, and it hasn’t stopped hurting.”
    A long pause and then Dr. Suzuki prompted, “And that is?”
    “We couldn’t have a baby. I did the whole hormone injection thing. We tried a round of in vitro fertilization, and I lost the babies. And then Rex told me he’d had an affair on one of his business trips and got this woman pregnant. Says he has to do right by her. He loves me and he’s sorry, but she’s the one having a baby.” Zoe hunched over, her hands crossed over the empty womb that had killed two babies placed in it by science—to the tune of twenty thousand dollars, which she was still paying off.
    “Oh no.” Dr. Suzuki covered her mouth, her eyes wide. “Zoe. That’s gut-wrenching. I’m so sorry.”
    “Yeah. Me too.” A long moment passed. Zoe wished she could cry again, but the tears of this particular wound were flash frozen, walled up somewhere so they couldn’t overwhelm her.
    “Thank you for telling me. You