Sinful Rewards 12 Read Free Page B

marry me.” Hawke’s too-perceptive gaze locks with mine. “You love me.”
    â€œYes, I love you.” I don’t refute his first statement either, knowing my former marine will detect the lie. “But there’s no need to get married.” I fix a fake smile on my face. “I’m not pregnant.”
    Hawke glances down at my flat stomach. “You could be pregnant.” He places his palms on my skin, his fingers trembling. “You could be carrying our child inside you right now, a tiny brown-eyed brunette baby girl with her mom’s stubbornness and her dad’s rebellious nature.” My military man sounds almost wistful, as though he yearns for this possibility.
    I shake this improbable thought away. Having seen the tabloid talk shows and lived the reality, I know no man wants an oops baby.
    â€œI’m not carrying our child.” Our child , I silently repeat. This sounds good, right. “I’ll take a test in a month to reassure you.” I’ll pee on a stick daily to reassure myself.
    â€œYou’ll spend the entire month worrying.” There’s no doubt in Hawke’s voice. This is how well he knows me. “I won’t allow that.”
    And I won’t allow him to make this sacrifice, to forfeit his happiness and his freedom to appease his damn honor. “I’m not marrying you.” My voice rises.
    â€œYes, you are,” Hawke insists, his tone calm and controlled. “It’s the perfect solution. You know this.”
    â€œIt isn’t the perfect solution.” I slam my fists against my hips and glare at him. “It’s a mistake.”
    Hawke’s eyes flash. “You think marrying me is a mistake?”
    No , my foolish heart cries.
    â€œYes, and I know all about mistakes.” I cross my arms defensively before me, bracing for the pain that will come. “I’ve been one my entire life.” I slide my gaze away from his. “But I refuse to be yours, Hawke. I won’t trap you, as I trapped my mom.”
    I tilt my head back and study the ceiling, unable to look at him, my emotions dangerously close to the surface. “I saw what that did to her.” Her financial confinement nibbled at her soul, eroding her fight, her fire, until there was nothing left. It took the paparazzi-prompted eviction from Happydale to revive her inner flame. “I won’t allow the same thing to happen to you.” It would destroy both of us.
    â€œYou’re protecting me.” Hawke’s voice is barely audible. “Sweetheart, you could never be my mistake. You’re my girl.” He pulls me against his hard body.
    I yearn to sag against him, to lose myself in his touch, but I can’t. This is too important to me, to our future.
    â€œWe’ll keep our relationship as it is, casual and light.” I’m willing to wait for the forever commitment I need. In time, he’ll fall in love with me. He has to. “There’s no need to alter anything.”
    â€œYou’re not a casual-and-light type of woman, Belinda.” Hawke cradles the back of my head with his big palms, holding me to him. “You don’t do temporary anything.”
    â€œI could—” I stop. Telling him I could do light and casual would be a lie, and I’m tired of lying to him, to myself. Because he’s right. I’m not comfortable with temporary arrangements. Even my beloved fashions are timeless. “For you, I’d try,” I compromise.
    â€œYou don’t have to try for me.” Hawke gazes down at me. “I want our relationship to be permanent. I want to marry you. I want this.”
    I should say yes, should take what little I can grab, and months ago, I might have. This security is everything I thought I wanted, more than my mom has ever been offered. Hawke is a wonderful person, kind and rich and smart. I love him and suspect I always will. He might be the only man