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relationship into my life at this time would be a setback. So, I have sworn off dicks and gladly welcomed masturbation into my life. Today is just another test of my clit. Another check of how much of a woman I really am. All of these months in therapy got me ready for this. I got this. I can do this. No, fuck that. I will do this.
    My BlackBerry begins to vibrate in the pocket of my thin wool trench. I rush to pull it out. This is what good friends— real friends—are all about. They check on you when they know your ass is scared as hell. “Hey,” I say in my little sing-song way.
    â€œAre you okay?” Cristal asks in her mothering kinda way.
    â€œCris, what am I going to say when I see him?” I ask, not even trying to hold it back.
    â€œI’m here too, Alizé.”
    I smile at the sound of Moët’s voice on the line. Then I pause. These two bitches can be tricky when they want to. “Who else is on the line?” I ask with a voice that shows I ain’t even playing.
    They both sigh. “Dom is not on the phone, Alizé,” Cristal says. “I am done trying to get you two back together. If you two do not care then I do not care anymore either.”
    â€œGood,” I answer, even as I feel a little petty. Only a little.
    â€œAre you sure you want to do this?” Cristal asks, changing the subject.
    â€œYes,” I say with more confidence than I feel. “I am going to walk in there and be nothing but business all the way. In fact, if he doesn’t want to talk anything but mergers and acquisitions then that is fine with me. In fact, that is perfect for me.”
    â€œYou’ll be fine. Just say a little prayer and make sure you call one of us as soon as you get a chance,” Moët says in a positive way like only Moët can.
    I shook my head even as I said, “Yes, I will.”
    Liar, liar, pants on fire.
    â€œAlright, Ze, I have to go before I am late to work.”
    â€œI’ll call y’all as soon as I can,” I promise, before ending the call and sliding the BlackBerry back into the pocket of my coat.
    With one last shake, I press my Donna Karan suede round-toe platform onto the first step. The rest are easy. Now if I can just convince myself of the same about seeing Cameron for the first time in months.

    â€œWelcome back, Monica.”
    I look up from the company manual I’m skimming over to see him standing across the table from me. All of the air leaves my body. Suddenly the large conference room feels small as hell. My eyes eat him up. The tall muscular frame. His fine-ass square features. The way his suit fits his athletic frame. Here he is. The man that I loved and lost.
    Breathe, Alizé, breathe . I rise and present him my hand in full professional mode. “Hello, Mr. Steele.”
    Cameron focuses his deep-set eyes on my outstretched hand. “Mr. Steele?” he asks with a sardonic tone before he enfolds my slender hand into a shake.
    His touch reminds me of everything we never shared together. Everything my dumb ass pushed away. Our eyes lock. His hands feel so warm in mine. I feel so attracted to him. So pulled into him. But I have to remember that he’s married now. This man belongs to someone else.
    Not that I ain’t never dealt with married men. Just not any that I had feelings for. Cameron Steele is— was —the first man I ever loved.
    Thankfully, the conference doors open and the rest of the staff wander in. Cameron releases my hand with one last long look before claiming his spot at the head of the table. I only have moments to get myself together. I prayed no one notices that my nipples are rock hard. Sitting up in the meeting sweating like a crack fiend ain’t a good thing.
    I’ve never even kissed Cameron but throughout the entire meeting I have to make myself stay focused and stop daydreaming about him stripping me naked and fucking me doggy style in the middle of