Shocked and Shattered Read Free Page A

Conversation is minimal.
     
    “So, what’s new at work?” I question him. He is being stubborn and not talking.
     
    “Nothing is new. Just dealing with a couple interns that are clueless,” he replies, rolling his eyes and downing his third beer.
     
    When we arrive back to our cabin, I head for the lounge, feeling crappy again.
     
    “I’m just going to the bar for a few drinks, Crys. You will be all right for an hour won’t you?” he asks me.
     
    I’m a little gutted, but not surprised. He is not the type to sit inside and watch DVDs. He is still the party type, quite often leaving me at home when he goes to bars or clubs, but he has never given me any reason not to trust him. I’ve known the guy since junior year.
     
    “Yep. I’ll just be here on the couch, dying,” I whine. I guess I don’t know any different, but is it normal for your new husband to leave you while you are extremely sick on your honeymoon?
     
    “Oh, Crystal, don’t be so dramatic. It’s probably the stomach flu. You will be right tomorrow,” he states. He rubs my head, obviously to avoid my germs, and heads out the door.
     
    Tears well up in my eyes. Some honeymoon this is turning out to be. Why do I have this kind of luck?
     
    I hear my phone beep. Thinking it might be Sterling, I grab it hastily off the lounge.
     
    Hannah : I don’t want all the details, but hope you are doing the naked hokey pokey right now.
     
    I giggle at my besties text. She is never backward at coming forward.
     
    Me: I wish. I’m still sick with this virus…on my freaking honeymoon.
     
    Hannah: Fuck, that sux! Sterling better be looking after you.
     
    I don’t know how to reply. She will lose it if I say he went to the bar.
     
    Hannah has been telling me ever since we got engaged that I can do better; that I deserve someone who will dote on me, be romantic, and treat me like a princess. Sterling doesn’t do any of those things. He has a lot of money, so he will buy me things, beautiful things. He tells me he loves me, but it sounds more like it’s out of habit, not because he wants to say it. But, should I really be ungrateful?
     
    Hannah: Crystal? Where is Sterling?
     
    Me: He will be back any minute.
     
    Hannah : Where did he go?
     
    Me: Just downstairs.
     
    Hannah : Tell me he is getting you supplies.
     
    Me : Not quite…
     
    Hannah : That fucking asswipe is at the bar isn’t he?
     
    Me : Just for one drink, Han.
     
    Hannah : It’s always the same with him, Crys. You just got married four days ago, and he should not be leaving you to go drink with random strangers. He should not be leaving you period. This is a low act, even from Sterling. Can’t you see that?
     
    Me : Why should he miss out because I’m sick?
     
    Hannah: Because he is your fucking husband! For better or worse, till death do you part, remember?
     
    Me: It’s just the stomach flu.
     
    Hannah: Yeah, this time, but if you can’t rely on him now, it’s only going to get worse.
     
    Me: I’m going to lie down for a bit, Han. Talk later. xx
     
    I end the conversation feeling somber. Everything she says is true. He is a lousy husband, and has been a lousy boyfriend for the past nine years. But at least I have a husband and a partner, which beats being alone forever.
     
    But you are alone right now, Crystal.
     
    I fight with the voices inside my head and shed a few tears until I fall into a deep sleep.
    The next morning, I’m woken by the sound of Sterling’s snoring, coming from the bedroom. It seems he snuck in and climbed into bed without me. How thoughtful.
    Leaving me on the lounge, I must have been pretty out of it to not hear him. I wonder what time he came in. My head is pounding, my eyes are puffy from crying, and I’m still feeling woeful.
    Stuff him. He is probably hungover.
    I stand up slowly, feeling dizzy, and walk into the bedroom to wake my sleeping husband.
    “ Slam! ” I open and close the wardrobe door until he wakes up,