Selby Supersnoop Read Free Page B

barks.
    ‘They’ll never hear me,’ he thought. ‘Besides, this is silly. Why should I have to go out in the cold when I could use a perfectly good people-loo?’
    Selby looked down the hallway.
    ‘If I’m quick about it, no one will notice.’
    Selby dashed off down the hall and then had one last look at the dinner guests before turning the corner and ducking into the loo. He quietly closed the door and in a second was finished, flushed and ready to return to the dining room.
    ‘I feel like a real person,’ he giggled. ‘That was fun!’
    Selby went to open the door and realised that the knob was so high that he couldn’t reach it, even standing on his hind legs.
    ‘Uh-oh,’ he thought. ‘I’m going to have to figure out some way of getting up there. Hmmm. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic.’
    Selby scanned the room for anything to climb up on.
    ‘I know!’ he said, opening a cupboard and pulling out a dozen rolls of toilet paper. ‘I’ll make a poo-paper pyramid.’
    Selby made a pile of toilet paper rolls and climbed on top of them. He reached up slowly, stretching his paw towards the knob. At any minute he expected the rolls to fall out from under him and he’d go tumbling down.
    His paw felt its way up, higher and higher, till he touched cold metal.
    ‘That’s it!’ he thought. ‘I’ve got it!’
    Just then, there was a sudden, loud knock at the door.
    ‘Is anyone in there?’ a woman’s voice boomed.
    Selby quickly pushed the big brass bolt across, locking the door.
    Then there was another knock followed by another.
    Selby froze.
    ‘What now?’ Selby thought, trying even harder not to panic. ‘I’m trapped like a rat! Oh, woe, woe.’
    ‘Will you be long?’ the voice asked. ‘I’m in rather a hurry.’
    ‘I’ll stay quiet till she goes away,’ Selby thought.
    But just as he thought this, the toilet paper rolls slipped out from under him and Selby went crashing to the floor.
    ‘Are you all right in there?’ the woman yelled. ‘Hey! Somebody, help! I think someone’s collapsed in the loo!’
    ‘Oh, no!’ Selby thought. ‘Now they’re going to batter down the door. I’ve got to think of something, fast!’
    Selby’s mind went in every direction at once like a flock of lost racing pigeons.
    ‘I’m all right,’ Selby said finally, putting on a high voice. ‘I’ll just be a minute.’
    ‘I beg your pardon?’
    ‘I said, I’ll just be a minute.’
    ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
    ‘Yes, of course I’m okay. Just go away.’
    ‘I’ll wait right here, if you don’t mind.’
    Selby felt himself getting angry. Why couldn’t she just go away and leave him to escape?
    ‘Couldn’t you find another loo?’ Selby asked.
    ‘This is the only one.’
    ‘But that’s ridiculous. There must be dozens in this dump.’
    ‘Listen here, I happen to own this dump. I’m Madame Mascara. And who might you be?’
    ‘None of your business,’ Selby said. ‘Just go away and leave me in peace.’
    ‘Don’t tell me what to do. I’m going to stand right here till you come out!’
    ‘Crumbs,’ Selby thought. ‘I’ve got to think of another way out of this place, fast!’
    Selby looked around the room. There were no windows and no skylight; only a fan in the wall.
    ‘If I can pull the fan out of there, maybe I could climb through the hole,’ he thought.
    Selby leapt up on the toilet, forgetting that the lid was still up, and landed right in the cold water.
    ‘Oh, great. Now I’ve really put myself in it.’

    Selby jumped out and closed the lid. In a minute he’d pulled the fan out and watched it go crashing and sparking to the floor.
    ‘What’s going on in there?!’ Madame Mascara screamed. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’
    ‘Everything’s okay,’ Selby said. ‘I’m just having a little difficulty here.’
    ‘And I’m going to break this door down.’
    The full weight of Madame Mascara slammed against the door. When it didn’t open, she tried