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pretty personal at the time.”
    “I can explain, but maybe not now. Now I want you to tell me that we can be friends. We had a bad start, but it’s getting better, right?”
    “It’s hard for me to think about anything getting better,” I said. And I almost turned and began to go up those trashy steps. But, despite all the weirdness, I knew that Lindsey was some kind of lifeline for me.
    “Yeah, if you want to be my friend, I’d like that,” I said.
    Lindsey smiled then. It was a great smile. “Hold out your hand.”
    I held out my hand, and she wrote something on it. An email address.
    “I have to go to the library if I want to check emails.”
    “Okay.” She flipped my hand over and wrote a phone number on it. “You got a phone?”
    “I have my mom’s cell phone. It’s really old. Guess it’s mine now.”
    “Call me?”
    I tried smiling back, but it was like my face wasn’t working. I started up the steps, then turned and said, “Thanks. Thanks, Lindsey.”

Chapter Five
    I spent the next day alone in the apartment. I kept thinking my mom was going to walk in the door and everything would be okay, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I was in a dark and lonely place. I found my mom’s old cell phone and plugged it in so the battery wouldn’t go dead. It seemed to take an enormous amount of energy to do just that, to plug the damn thing in the wall. I copied Lindsey’s phone number onto three different pieces of paper. I placed one on the kitchen table and one on the table by my bed, and I put one in my wallet.
    But I didn’t call her.
    I slept a lot. The more I slept, the more tired I felt.
    And then the buzzer rang. I looked out and could see it was Emma, and she had a guy with her. I hit the door buzzer to let them in. What else could I do?
    “Hi, Josh. How are you doing?” she asked.
    “I’m okay, I guess.”
    “Your uncle here?”
    “He’s out.”
    “Okay. This is Darren,” she said, nodding to the guy beside her.
    “Hi, Josh,” he said. “Good to meet you. Sorry about your loss.” Darren looked to be about thirty. He had longish hair and seemed to be a nice guy.
    “Yeah. Me too.”
    “Darren runs a group home over on Cumberland,” Emma said. “You know much about group homes?”
    I shook my head no.
    “It’s not like the old days,” Darren said. “Ours is small. Right now we only have four other kids there. We think you’ll fit in.”
    I looked at Emma. I’d never really trusted her, but she’d always been straight with my mom and me, always tried to help out, even when my mom pushed her away. I think she knew there was no uncle in the picture, but she didn’t come right out and say it.
    “I gotta do this?” I asked her.
    “Josh, you’re sixteen. We can’t let you stay here by yourself. Maybe in a year or two you’ll be okay on your own. But for now, you need to let us help you.”
    Darren handed me a card. “This is the address. It’s not that far from here. We’d like it if you could walk over later today. On your own. Just come check us out. I’ll introduce you to the other guys. I’m not gonna say we’re like one big happy family. In fact, we are one weird little family or maybe not family at all. But we’re in it together. I live there too. This is my life. This is what I do. Just give us a chance.”
    I looked at Emma. “What about this apartment? What happens to my mom’s stuff?”
    “For now,” she said, “nothing. Everything will be here. We’ll continue to pay the rent until things settle down. You can come back here to visit in the days, if you like.”
    Darren was playing cheerleader. He smiled and gave me two thumbs-up. Then they turned to go. “Hope to see you later today,” Darren said.
    That afternoon I left the apartment for the first time since the funeral service. The sunlight was brighter—too bright. The street sounds seemed louder. Everything felt different—unfamiliar, like I’d never even been here before.
    I walked to