Say Cheese - and Die Screaming! Read Free

leave the game for a while?
    I really don’t remember.
    In music class, Miss Jakes caught me staring out the window, a dazed look on
my face. She thought it was because of the volleyball accident. She wanted to
send me to the nurse.
    But I explained that I was okay. I told her I wasn’t hurt—I was only
daydreaming.
    I didn’t explain that I was thinking hard. Thinking about that evil camera
hidden away in the Coffman house.
    Thinking about how I was going to sneak out after dinner. Ride my bike up the
hill to the deserted old house. Creep down to the basement—and pull the camera from its hiding place in the wall.
    I’m going to prove the camera is evil, Sourball. I’m going to prove you’re
wrong and unfair! I thought bitterly.
    I’m going to prove it to Brian and Donny and all the other kids who laughed
at my story.
    I’m going to get an A for my report. Not an F.
    I thought about all that. And I thought about Shari, Michael, and Bird.
    I didn’t blame my friends for being scared. I was scared, too. I promised
myself I’d be really careful.
    I’ll bring it to school. But I won’t take anyone’s picture with it, I
decided.
    Then how would I prove to Mr. Saur that the camera is evil?
    I thought hard. I’ll take a snapshot of the empty classroom, I decided. Or
maybe the lunchroom or the gym when no one is there.
    As soon as Mr. Saur changes my grade to an A, I’ll return the camera,
I promised myself. I’ll shove it back into its hiding place. And I’ll never take
it out again.
    After school, I searched for Shari. She lives next door, so we usually walk
home together. But I didn’t see her anywhere.
    I crossed the street, kicking a bottle cap I found at the curb. Thinking
about my plan. Thinking about the camera.
    I had walked about half a block when I heard voices behind me. “Greg! Hey—Greg!”
    Two hands grabbed my shoulders and spun me around hard.
    Brian Webb!
    “Greg—Donny and I went to the Coffman house!” he exclaimed, grinning,
holding me in place. “We found the evil camera!”
    “Say cheese!” Donny cried.
    He pointed the camera and flashed it in my face.

 
 
5
     
     
    I uttered a hoarse cry.
    And shut my eyes against the white flash.
    Something horrible is going to happen to me now, I realized.
    The picture is going to show me in pain. In agony. In terrible trouble. And
then it’s going to come true!
    When I opened my eyes, Brian and Donny were laughing. They slapped each other
a high five.
    I stared at the camera in Donny’s hand.
    A yellow cardboard camera. One of those cheap throwaway cameras.
    Not the evil camera. Not the old camera from the Coffman house.
    “Good joke, guys!” I said sarcastically. I blinked several times, trying to
make the yellow dots disappear. “You guys are a riot.”
    “You’re the funny one!” Brian shot back. “That was such a funny story you
told in class!”
    “Yeah. It had us all laughing,” Donny chimed in.
    I stared angrily at them. My heart thumped loudly. Sumo One and Sumo Two.
They were so big, they nearly blocked out the sunlight!
    I knew they wanted to keep on teasing me. Have some more laughs at my
expense. Maybe get into a fight.
    But I didn’t have time to fight with them.
    “Maybe you won’t be laughing tomorrow,” I murmured. Then I turned, jogged
across the street, and headed for home.
     
    At dinner, I stared down at my plate. I was too nervous to eat. My stomach
felt as if it were tied in a tight knot.
    “Pass the potatoes,” my brother, Terry, said with a mouth full of chicken.
    “It’s not potatoes. It’s turnips,” Mom corrected him.
    Terry shrugged. “Whatever.” He scooped a pile onto his plate and began
spooning them quickly into his mouth.
    “Slow down, Terry,” Dad scolded. “You’re eating so fast, you don’t know what
you’re eating!”
    “Sure, I do,” Terry protested. “I’m eating dinner!”
    Mom and Dad laughed.
    Terry looks a lot like me—blond hair, green eyes, kind of a goofy