Sarah's Child Read Free Page B

alive, but now Romes words were tearing at her, forcing images into her head that she didnt want to see. She turned away from him, her face averted as she tried to avoid hearing his words. The bed squeaked as he left it; then suddenly his hands were gripping her arms with a hard grip, jerk-ing her around to face him. His face was white and full of rage, a muscle jerking in his temple. Whats wrong, Saint Sarah? Are you so buried in that mental convent of yours that you cant stand hearing about normal people who enjoy the sinful activity of sex? He was snarling at her, and Sarah was frozen in his grasp, stunned by the anger that had erupted in him. Dimly she realized that he wasnt angry at her as much as he was angry at the fate that had taken his wife from him and left him with only emptiness in his arms, but still, Rome in a temper was a man to fear.
    He shook her, as if he wanted to punish her for being a warm, living woman, when Diane was forever gone. I still cant sleep with another woman, he rasped in a voice harsh with pain. I dont mean sex. I had sex with another woman only two months after Diane died, and I hated myself for it the next morninghell, as soon as it was finished! It felt as if Id been unfaithful to her, and I felt so guilty that I went back to my hotel room and threw up. I didnt even particularly enjoy it, but I did it again the next night, so Id feel guilty again. I tried to make myself suffer, to make myself pay for being alive when she was dead. Thereve been a lot of women since then; every time Ineed sex, theres always a woman whos willing to lie down with me. I need sex and Ive been taking it, but I cant sleep with them. When its over, I have to leave. In my mind, Im still Dianes husband, and I cant sleep with any woman but her.
    Sarah felt suffocated, suspended in time by his hard grip on her arms, his hot breath on her cheek, and his enraged face so close to hers. She wrenched away from him, her hands tightened into fists. She couldnt hear about his intimacies with another woman, with any number of other women. She gave Rome a wild, desperate look, but he didnt notice. With a groan, he sank to his knees on the floor, burying his face in his hands, and his shoulders shook.
    There wasnt enough oxygen in the room; she gasped at it, feeling her restricted lungs strain in an effort to drag enough air into her body. Her senses whirled, as if she might faint, but she didnt. Somehow she found herself on her knees beside him, and she put her arms around him as she had longed to do so many times. Instantly his strong arms locked around her, holding her in a grip that threatened to crack all of her ribs. He buried his face against her soft breasts and cried, harsh sobs that tore out of his body in great shudders. Sarah held him, stroking his hair, letting him cry; he was entitled to it, and hed gone for too long without letting someone else share in his grief. Her own face was wet, but she didnt notice the hot tears that blurred her vision. All that mattered was him, and she rocked him gently back and forth, with no words, but only her presence to shield him from the bitter loneliness that had turned his heart into a winter land of desolation.
    Gradually he quieted, and he moved closer to her, his hands moving up her back. She felt the deep breaths he was taking as they expanded his chest, then the warmth of the expelled air on her breasts. Her nipples tightened in automatic, shameful response, hidden beneath her silk shirt and lacy bra, and she clenched her fingers in his hair in a movement that was beyond her control.
    He lifted his head, his eyes still damp, and the darkness of his pupils had become so total that there was no brown in them at all. He stared at her, then reached out and tenderly wiped the moisture from her cheeks with his thumb. Sarah, he said on a whispering sigh, and touched his mouth to hers.
    She went still, all breath suspended in her body, as thousands of her prayers were answered in