Rumble Road Read Free

my windshield. It was so thick, even when I turn my wipers on, I can’t get this stuff off and I can’t even see through my windshield. I actually needed to pull over to a gas station a few blocks down the street just to clean this shake off, and there was chocolate everywhere. It was at that point I gave them a warning that there would be payback.
    So about two or three weeks later, there was a super show in Nassau, and myself and one other wrestler stopped before the show and bought a couple of quarts of oil, peanut butter, and a down pillow. While Cryme Tyme were in the ring, me and this other gentleman proceeded to go out and pour the oil all over their car. Then we ripped the feathers out of the pillow and put the feathers all over the top of the car, all over the backseat, all over the front seat, and I spread peanut butter all over the steering wheel and the handles. It was a complete mess.
    When Cryme Tyme came out and saw the car, they couldn’t believe what happened. But as it turned out, it wasn’t their car. They were actually riding with Primo, so poor Primo just got caught in the cross fire. The funny thing is, Cryme Tyme started yelling, “Ha-ha, you tried to get us, but you didn’t get us!” And I was like, “Okay, so what you’re saying then is you’re still in my crosshairs.” And they both look at each other, then they turn to me at the same time and were like, “Yeah, you’re right. You got us.”
    I ended up paying Primo for the car to be cleaned, but it was worth it.
    Boom Boom Pow
    Randy Orton
    We were in Tijuana about three years ago, and Revolution Avenue is notorious down there for all their little shops and clubs and strip bars and the craziness going on. I used to frequent that area when I was in the Marine Corps, back in 1999. All of us guys would go down there, taking the bus to San Diego, then taking the trolley to the border at San Ysidro and finally taking a cab to Revolution Avenue. It took about three hours for us to get there from base, but it was worth it. It was a ton of fun. Now I come back there all these years later, only now I’m a WWE wrestler. Back in the Marine Corps, no one bothered us. Now there are like a hundred kids following us up and down the street. It’s crazy.
    That night, we found a shop that sold fireworks. Not your normal little Fourth of July fireworks. These were quarter sticks of dynamite. And I’m not just calling these things quarter sticks of dynamite, these were legit quarter sticks of dynamite . . . these things would blow your hands off. They were eight inches long with a twenty- or thirty-second wick on them that burned slow just so you could run away. They were nuts and they were only like eight bucks each, so I bought a dozen of them.
    Later that night, we were doing a show outdoors at this bullfighting arena that was probably a century old if not more, and the place was huge. They had all of these little pits where they kept the bulls, but the pits were empty and they had all of this loose dirt, so a couple of us dug this big hole and put a quarter stick of dynamite underneath. And this fuse was so long that we were able to use some old shovels lying around and bury this thing pretty deep. Before this, we had lit a few off just to see what they could do, and man, were they dangerous! But this one that we buried, dirt went flying everywhere and the noise was just unbelievable. It sounded like a bomb went off. The vibrations and the percussions of this arena with 20,000 seats and all of the old stone and cement of this bullfighting arena . . . the walls shook when this thing exploded.
    The thing is, we had a lot of policia down at the arena. The Mexican police were guarding the building outside and keeping order with all of the big mobs of people who were lining up to come in. All of these policia were armed with machine guns and pistols, and they heard this big boom and they all drew their weapons and ran inside. It was total chaos.
    I