Rules Of Attraction Read Free

The guy’s a joke. Of course you’re gonna hate him.”
    I lie back on my bed and stare at the ceiling, remembering the first
    time Michael and I kissed. It was at the outdoor summer concert in
    Niwot behind the ice cream vendor. “I liked him.”
    “Yeah, well I never did. Don’t trust someone you meet in the
    waiting room at your therapist’s office.”
    I flip onto my stomach and sit up on my elbows. “It was speech
    therapy. And he just drove his brother for sessions.”
    Tuck, who has never liked a guy I’ve dated, pulls out a pink skull-
    and-crossbones notebook from my desk drawer. He shakes his index
    finger at me. “Never trust a guy who tells you he loves you on the
    second date. Happened to me once. It was a total joke.”
    “Why? Don’t you believe in love at first sight?”
    “No. I believe in lust at first sight. And attraction. But not love.
    Michael told you he loved you just so he could get into your pants.”
    “How do you know?”
    “I’m a guy, that’s how I know.” Tuck frowns. “You didn’t do it with
    him, did you?”
    “No,” I say, shaking my head to emphasize my answer. We fooled
    around, but I didn’t want to take it to the next level. I just, I don’t
    know . . . I wasn’t ready. I haven’t seen or talked to Michael since
    school started two weeks ago. Sure, we texted a few times, but he
    always said he was busy and would call when he got a minute. He’s a
    senior in Longmont twenty minutes away and I go to school in Boulder,
    so I just thought he was busy with school stuff. But now I know the
    reason we haven’t talked wasn’t because he was busy. It was because he
    wanted to break up.
    Was it because of another girl?
    Was it because I wasn’t pretty enough?
    Was it because I wouldn’t have sex with him?
    It can’t be because I stutter. I’ve been working on my speech all
    summer and haven’t stuttered once since June. Every week I went to
    speech therapy, every day I practice speaking in front of a mirror,
    every minute I’m conscious of the words that come out of my mouth.
    Before now I always had to worry when I spoke, waiting for that
    confused look people got and then that ‘Oh, I understand— she’s got a
    problem’ revelation. Then came the look of pity. And then the ‘she must
    be stupid’ assumption. Or, in the case of some of the girls in my school,
    my stuttering was the source of amusement.
    But I don’t stutter anymore.
    Tuck knows this is the year I’m determined to show my confident
    side— the side I’ve never shown the kids at school. I’ve been shy and
    introverted my first three years of high school, because I’ve had an
    intense fear of people making fun of me stuttering. From now on
    instead of Kiara Westford being remembered for being shy, they’re
    going to remember me as the one who wasn’t afraid to speak up.
    I didn’t count on Michael breaking up with me. I thought we’d go to
    Homecoming together, and prom . . .
    “Stop thinking about Michael,” Tuck orders.
    “He was cute.”
    “So is a hairy ferret, but I wouldn’t want to date one. You could do
    better than him. Don’t sell yourself short.”
    “Look at me,” I tell him. “Face reality, Tuck. I’m no Madison Stone.”
    “Thank God for that. I hate Madison Stone.”
    Madison raises the term ‘mean girls’ to an entirely new level. The
    girl is good at everything she tries and could be easily crowned the
    most popular girl in school. Every girl wants to be friends with her so
    they can hang with the cool crowd. Madison Stone creates the cool
    crowd.
    “Everyone likes her.”
    “That’s because they’re afraid of her. Secretly everyone hates
    her.” Tuck starts scribbling words in my notebook, then hands it to me.
    “Here,” he says, then tosses me a pen. I stare at the page. ‘RULES OF
    ATTRACTION’ is written on top, and a big line is drawn down the
    center of the page.
    “What is this?”
    “In the left column write down all the great things