Rodrick Rules Read Free Page B

won't
    let me lay a finger on him, even if he totally deserves it.
    Like the other day, I plugged in my video game system, and it wouldn't start. I
    opened it up and found out that Manny had stuffed a chocolate-chip cookie in the
    disc drive.
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    And of course Manny used the same excuse he ALWAYS uses when he breaks my
    stuff.
    [Image: A cartoon of a child complaining to his parents.] "I'm Ownwy Thwee!
    I really wanted to let Manny have it, but I couldn't do anything with Mom standing
    right there.
    Mom said she would have a "talk" with Manny, and they went downstairs. A half
    hour later, they came back up to my room, and Manny was holding something in
    his hands.
    [Image: A cartoon of a child apologizing to his brother as the mother looks at
    them.] "I'm Sowwy, Bubby."
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    It was a ball of tinfoil with a bunch of toothpicks sticking out of it.
    [Image: A cartoon of a foil ball with toothpicks stuck in it.]
    Don't ask me how that was supposed to make up for my broken video game
    system. I went to throw the stupid thing away, but Mom wouldn't even let me do
    THAT.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy throwing the ball in the dustbin and the mother
    scolding him for that.] "Your brother made that for you!"
    The first chance I get, that thing's going in the trash. Because mark my words, if I
    don't get rid of it, I'm gonna end up sitting on it.

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    Even though Manny drives me totally nuts, there is ONE reason I like having him
    around. Ever since Manny started talking, Rodrick has stopped making me sell
    chocolate bars for his school fund-raisers. And believe me, I'm grateful for THAT.
    [Image: A cartoon of a asking the man behind the door for help.] "Before"
    [Image: A cartoon of a child asking the couple for help as his brother looks at him
    happily.] "Now..."
    Um...hello sir...would you like to help support...
    Not interested!
    Now...
    Wood you wike some chokwits?
    How precious!"
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    Monday
    Madame Lefrere made us write our first pen-pal letters today. I got assigned to this
    kid named Mamadou Montpierre, and I guess he lives someplace in France.
    I know I'm supposed to write in French and Mamadou is supposed to write in
    English, but to be honest with you, writing in a foreign language is pretty hard.

    So I really don't see the need for both of us to stress out over this whole pen-pal
    thing.
    Dear Mamadou,
    First of all, I think we should both just write in English to keep things simple.
    By the way, remember how I said I was gonna end up sitting on Manny's spiky
    tinfoil ball thing? Well, I was half right.
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    Rowley came over today to play video games, and HE ended up sitting on it.
    I'm actually kind of relieved, to be honest with you. I lost track of that thing a
    couple of days ago, and I'm just glad it finally turned up.
    [Image: A cartoon of a lady dabbing the aching ass of the boy as the another boy
    looks at them.]
    And in all the commotion, I threw Manny's "gift" in the garbage. But something
    tells me Mom wouldn't have stopped me this time.
    Wednesday
    Rodrick has an English paper due tomorrow, and Mom's actually making him do it
    himself for once. Rodrick doesn't know how to type, so he usually writes his
    papers out on notebook paper and then hands them off to Dad.
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    But when Dad reads over Rodrick's work, he finds all sorts of factual errors.
    [Image: A cartoon of a man talking to his son in their drawing room.] "Well, for
    starters, Abraham Lincoln didn't write "to kill a mockingbird."
    Rodrick doesn't really care about the mistakes, so he tells Dad to just go ahead and
    type the paper like it is.
    But Dad can't stand typing a paper with errors in it, so he just rewrites Rodrick's
    paper from scratch. And then a couple days later, Rodrick brings his graded paper
    home and acts like he did it himself.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy showing his report to his mother.]
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    This has been going on for a few years, and I guess Mom decided she's going to
    put an end to it. So tonight she told Dad that Rodrick was