Rock n Roll Babes from Outer Space Read Free

Isn’t that cool? Oh, and she pulled some spectacular wheelies over Tahiti a few years ago. People assumed it was the after-effects of French nuclear testing in the Pacific. Sparked renewed protests and all. We were pretty chuffed about that.
    Environmental issues tend to be fairly high on the extraterrestrial agenda. But you probably know that from
Millennium Watch
and
UFO Quarterly.
You’ve never heard of those magazines? Oh, you’re not missing much. They’re just full of long articles on how ayles supervised the construction of the pyramids and shit like that. That’s news? Give me
Rolling Stone
any day.
    It’s funny, you know. It’s like, we think we know heaps about Earth and Earthlings but here I am, face to face with you, a bona fide human bean, and I’m practically speechless. Well, maybe not speechless. Sorry. I must still be a bit hyper from all that space travel. But you know what I mean. It’s like, you’re so familiar and so strange, all at once.
    You’re our first abductee, you know.
    That’s not to say you’re the first Earthling to get an inside view of Galgal. Just the first since we’ve taken it over. Yeah, this little beauty has single-handedly abducted heaps of Americans. What happened to them? They all went on talk shows, of course. You’d have seen some on
Oprah
, surely. Australians? Let’s see. There were three taken from back o’ Bourke a few years ago. They asked tobe dropped off at the pub; I’m not sure what happened after that. And then there were a handful of Kurds from Iraq. Apparently they were just happy to get away for a while.
    Galgal is the subject of investigation by an entire secret division of the US military. Full-on, eh?
    We learned all that from the log book. Show it to you later, if you like. Typical of Nufonians to keep such detailed records. They’re as regular as a test pattern, and half as interesting. Zzzzzzt. New day, same picture. Zzzzzzt. New day, same picture. Zzzzzzt. Know what I mean? I really should stop dissing Nufonians. I’m kinda Nufonian myself. What do I mean, kinda? I’m a hybrid. Yeah, that’s right. We all are, all three of us.
    Let’s talk about sex.
    You’ve seen those tabloid headlines—‘I WAS ABDUCTED BY A UFO! ’ ‘I WAS SEXUALLY EXPERIMENTED ON BY CREATURES FROM OUTER SPACE !’ ‘I WAS IMPREGNATED BY ALIENS !’ ‘E XTRATERRESTRIALS TOOK MY FOETUS !’? Well, it’s true. Shit happens. Believe it. The three of us, we’re Earth’s little alien love children. Yeah. Alien plus Earthling equals the sum of us. As a matter of fact, we were conceived right here, on Galgal.
    Lati’s mum was an American from the midwest. The principal of a school that only teaches kids what’s in the Bible and won’t let them listen to rock n roll—the
devil’s
music. Ha. Anyway, the dumb-arse Nufonians thought she’d be a safe bet, and scooped her up one night after a PTA meeting. She hasn’t been the same since. She has these blackouts and wakes up to find herself at Metallica concerts—
in the mosh.
    Doll had an Earth father and a Nufonian mother. He was another predictable Nufonian choice—an Englishaccountant with three identical grey suits, a pantry full of Savoy biscuits, and a pathological fear of nose rings. He doesn’t remember very much about the experience. But he gets erections whenever he sees a rerun of the original
Star Trek.
    My
mother, funnily enough, is Australian. She’s married to one of your leaders. Can’t remember which one. Earthling names all sound alike to me. Anyway, she’s middle class-o-rama, all nylon pantyhose, family values and received opinions on marijuana use. Boy, would she get a mega-shock if she ever met me. She’s never mentioned anything to her husband about the experience. Didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It was the best fuck she’d ever had.
    Don’t get the wrong idea. Nufonians aren’t just sex maniacs who spend their free time cruising the yoon for talent. If they were, we might never