Forgiveness? Our Lord and Savior loves us. If we seek His pardon sincerely, do you not think we might have a chance to sit at his right hand? Are you that jaded, at such a young age?"
I couldn't help smirking a little at her discomfort, and feeling a little lighter at Pastor Randy's words. Maybe I wasn't going to hell after all. Maybe if I repented -- and I was sorry -- He would forgive me. A small flame of hope grew in my heart and my smile widened.
"Is this discussion amusing you, Ms. Richards?"
Lena's elbow jabbed me in the ribs and I sat up straight, my smile falling away. "Um, no! I, um, I..." I swallowed and tried again. "It's just such a relief to hear that even the most terrible sins could be forgiven, if our hearts are true."
Pastor Randy gave me a knowing look that sent a shiver down my spine. The fine hairs on my arms stood on end and a blush covered my face. A familiar wetness began to spread between my thighs. Uh oh.
I dropped my eyes to my hands clenched in my lap. The last thing I needed was to get all heated up right here in youth group! A bunch of us were lounging around in easy chairs and love seats -- one guy was lying in a bean bag chair -- clustered in a loose circle in the church's rec room. This was not the time for those kinds of thoughts, and most definitely not the place.
Pastor Randy stood and clapped his hands together, moving toward me as he spoke. "Let's pick this up next week, so in the meantime, I want you all to read about Onan in Genesis 38, and how the Lord destroyed him because he spilled his seed on the ground."
We all stood and grabbed each other's hands for our final prayer. Electricity shot through me as Pastor Randy's warm hand folded gently around mine. My head was bowed for prayer but I couldn't take my eyes off our hands, heat radiating up my arm and straight to my three most sensitive points. How could my nipples get hard -- and forget about how my you-know-what was throbbing -- just from someone holding my hand?
"Dear Jesus, our Lord and Savior in Heaven," Pastor Randy intoned, his voice all chocolate and caramel to my senses. A girl across the room sighed. "Please forgive us sinners and shine Heaven's mercy upon us for the sins we have yet to commit."
His hand squeezed mine lightly at those words and my eyes widened at the implications. Was he saying God would forgive my sin of lustful thoughts? Or that he knew I would have more lustful thoughts so I'd better watch myself? Or that he was having lustful thoughts about me? No! That was ridiculous. Pastor Randy could have any woman in the congregation, maybe the world. No way could he be interested in a geeky, skinny girl like me. Besides, he was much too pious.
"...Amen." I'd been thinking so hard about that hand squeeze that I missed the rest of the prayer. Another black mark on my record. Great.
I moved to drop Pastor Randy's hand but he held on tighter, keeping me by his side as everyone milled around, gathering their bags and coats. "Goodnight, everyone. Sleep well, stay pure, and I'll see you all in church next Sunday!"
I was terrified to look him in the eye, knowing he intended to have a talk with me about what I did in his office. I'd tried to get out of coming tonight, but Mom had laid down the law and driven me to the church herself. "I'll pick you up at nine, and if I don't see you coming out those doors with all the other kids, you'll be grounded from the Internet for a week!" As a total computer nerd, that was a life sentence.
So here I was, about to be scolded, perhaps punished, for doing unthinkable things in the pastor's office, of all places. How stupid was I?! I just prayed that Mom wouldn't lose her job over this.
Pastor Randy lowered his voice so only I could hear him. "Stay right there, Ms. Richards. I'd like to speak to you in private."
Oh, God!
I was left to stew and fret while he escorted everyone out of the church. What was the punishment for a sin like that? Had he told anyone? Did he like
I couldn't help smirking a little at her discomfort, and feeling a little lighter at Pastor Randy's words. Maybe I wasn't going to hell after all. Maybe if I repented -- and I was sorry -- He would forgive me. A small flame of hope grew in my heart and my smile widened.
"Is this discussion amusing you, Ms. Richards?"
Lena's elbow jabbed me in the ribs and I sat up straight, my smile falling away. "Um, no! I, um, I..." I swallowed and tried again. "It's just such a relief to hear that even the most terrible sins could be forgiven, if our hearts are true."
Pastor Randy gave me a knowing look that sent a shiver down my spine. The fine hairs on my arms stood on end and a blush covered my face. A familiar wetness began to spread between my thighs. Uh oh.
I dropped my eyes to my hands clenched in my lap. The last thing I needed was to get all heated up right here in youth group! A bunch of us were lounging around in easy chairs and love seats -- one guy was lying in a bean bag chair -- clustered in a loose circle in the church's rec room. This was not the time for those kinds of thoughts, and most definitely not the place.
Pastor Randy stood and clapped his hands together, moving toward me as he spoke. "Let's pick this up next week, so in the meantime, I want you all to read about Onan in Genesis 38, and how the Lord destroyed him because he spilled his seed on the ground."
We all stood and grabbed each other's hands for our final prayer. Electricity shot through me as Pastor Randy's warm hand folded gently around mine. My head was bowed for prayer but I couldn't take my eyes off our hands, heat radiating up my arm and straight to my three most sensitive points. How could my nipples get hard -- and forget about how my you-know-what was throbbing -- just from someone holding my hand?
"Dear Jesus, our Lord and Savior in Heaven," Pastor Randy intoned, his voice all chocolate and caramel to my senses. A girl across the room sighed. "Please forgive us sinners and shine Heaven's mercy upon us for the sins we have yet to commit."
His hand squeezed mine lightly at those words and my eyes widened at the implications. Was he saying God would forgive my sin of lustful thoughts? Or that he knew I would have more lustful thoughts so I'd better watch myself? Or that he was having lustful thoughts about me? No! That was ridiculous. Pastor Randy could have any woman in the congregation, maybe the world. No way could he be interested in a geeky, skinny girl like me. Besides, he was much too pious.
"...Amen." I'd been thinking so hard about that hand squeeze that I missed the rest of the prayer. Another black mark on my record. Great.
I moved to drop Pastor Randy's hand but he held on tighter, keeping me by his side as everyone milled around, gathering their bags and coats. "Goodnight, everyone. Sleep well, stay pure, and I'll see you all in church next Sunday!"
I was terrified to look him in the eye, knowing he intended to have a talk with me about what I did in his office. I'd tried to get out of coming tonight, but Mom had laid down the law and driven me to the church herself. "I'll pick you up at nine, and if I don't see you coming out those doors with all the other kids, you'll be grounded from the Internet for a week!" As a total computer nerd, that was a life sentence.
So here I was, about to be scolded, perhaps punished, for doing unthinkable things in the pastor's office, of all places. How stupid was I?! I just prayed that Mom wouldn't lose her job over this.
Pastor Randy lowered his voice so only I could hear him. "Stay right there, Ms. Richards. I'd like to speak to you in private."
Oh, God!
I was left to stew and fret while he escorted everyone out of the church. What was the punishment for a sin like that? Had he told anyone? Did he like
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