QUEENIE BABY: On Assignment Read Free Page B

that,” I said.
    “He took Honey-Bunny to the SPCA!”  
    My eyes narrowed at Granddaddy. “You took his dog to the SPCA?” I whispered furiously at him.  
    My sister continued, “And when Uncle Grover found out he fainted and hit his head. I’m at the hospital with him now.”
    “The doctor is coming in now,” she said. “I’ll call you back later.” Click.
    I just sat there staring at my phone for a second. Granddaddy was getting uncomfortable. “So, did the old coot go get his stupid mutt from the pound or what?” he asked pretending not to care.
    I turned on him. “I don’t know, Granddaddy, because Uncle Grover is in the hospital.”
    He furrowed his brow. “Oh, what the heck! That guy is a pansy. Did he up an’ faint again?”
    “Yes, he fainted and he hit his head. As in knocked out! You should be ashamed of yourself,” I said shaking my head.
    He actually looked like he might be feeling bad. “Maybe leaving the ransom note and the hair was a bad idea,” he conceded.  
    “Ransom note? What hair?” I asked incredulously.
    He shrugged. “Well, I left a note saying ‘Give me my gun and you’ll get the mutt back’. I cut off that stupid pony tail on the top of her head, bow an’ all, as proof. Just like in the movies,” he added. “I thought about bringin’ her here with me. But that dog is mean. She bit me twice when I was tryin’ to cut her hair off. So I tied her to the front door of the SPCA.”  
    I dropped my head in my hands. I just couldn’t take anymore. I needed a drink. Now. I stood up and resolutely walked to my room. I changed into a sweater and jeans and swapped out my heels for suede boots. I checked the mirror. Not bad. I pulled my hair from the confines of a tight pony tail and tucked my long bangs behind one ear. In the kitchen I put Granddaddy’s pants into the dryer and pulled some leftover Chinese out of the fridge.  
    “There’s Chinese on the counter. Cover it with a paper towel before you microwave it, please,” I said as I grabbed my purse.  
    “You goin’ to McGlynn’s?” he asked.
    “Yes, and you’re not,” I said firmly.
    “That ain’t no way to treat your Granddaddy,” he complained.
    “You don’t have pants,” I pointed out. “So you can’t go. And, frankly, I need some alone time.”
    He acknowledged his lack of pants with a shrug. “You singin’ tonight?” he asked.
    “No. Just drinking,” I said as I shut the door behind me.
    It was almost 7:00 when my feet touched the bricks on West Street. The two block walk to McGlynn’s was cool and quiet. For a moment I almost forget that I had a crazy old man with no pants on in my house. Oh, and don’t forget dognapper. I checked my phone, wondering if I should call my sister. We had an on again off again relationship. We got on each other’s nerves and pissed each other off, but were pretty good friends. I caved and called.
    “Well, he’s alive,” she said dramatically. “No thanks to Granddaddy! I just picked up Honey Bunny and still have to pick up the kids from swim practice.”
    “I’m bringing Granddaddy home tomorrow after I get off work,” I said.
    “No way. Uncle Grover is adamant that he isn’t living with him anymore,” she said.
    “Then I’ll bring him to your house,” I replied.
    “Don’t you dare!” she shrieked.
    “Hey, you’re in charge while The Parents are gone,” I reminded her. “He stays with you until they get back and work things out.”
    Total silence on the other end. I had her and she knew it.
    “Great! Just what I need. Let’s just make Ashley’s life a little more like Hell on Earth,” she said. Again with the drama. “While the perfect Diana lives the life of a rock star.”
    I rolled my eyes. I can’t believe I called her. “I temped for a vampire today. I wouldn’t call that the life of a rock star.”  
    That threw her off. “An umpire?” she said. “So you’re working in Baltimore?”
    “No, a vampire. You know with a