Pushing Upward Read Free

falling in love with these magnificent creatures and began, well … collecting them.”
    â€œHow long are you away when you go?”
    â€œUp to three months.”
    â€œ Ah-h-h-choo! Look, Mister, ahhh, Kurt. I should tell you from the get-go, I am highly allergic to animal hair.” I blew my nose again, stuffed the tissue inside my purse, and headed toward the door. “I could easily get an asthma attack here. Have you ever seen anyone experience an asthma attack? It’s not pretty. Your lungs flare up. You can’t breathe.” I reached for the door handle, and turned the knob. “What if you’re out of town and I need to go to the hospital—who’d look after the animals?” I reached out my hand to shake his. “I know you’ll find the right person.” It’s just not me, I said under my breath.
    I didn’t wait for a response. I opened the door, walked quickly to my car, jumped in, and left skid marks on my way out of Kurt’s driveway. Then I proceeded to West L.A. at no less than thirty miles over the speed limit. It wasn’t a total lie. I did have asthma … when I was younger. It just never escalated like I’d described it.
    One down, two to go! As I looked at my watch, my stomach felt queasy. I didn’t know if I was sick because of the last interview or worried about the next one. Whichever it was, I had to ignore these feelings and keep moving. I didn’t want to be late to meet Saul.
    I’d only spent a few minutes with Saul on the phone. His voice was cryptic, distant, as if he were disguising his true identity. Maybe he had a cold. Maybe he was a spy, or worked for the CIA. In either case, I felt uneasy. Sure, I wanted to spend weeks exploring my alternatives, process each candidate, make an intelligent decision. But there was no time. I needed to be living with one of these callers within the next two weeks.
    No matter how desperate my situation was, my first glance upon walking into Saul’s place told me this was not an option. The apartment was stacked to the ceiling with magazines. Small Saul, with long white hair and a long white beard, looked like he’d stepped out of a Saturday-morning cartoon. He looked totally wild, Einstein wild. Only this animated character was no crazy genius. He was just crazy. It appeared as if he’d saved every magazine he’d ever read, categorized them all by number, and color-coded them by year on ten-foot-tall, built-in library shelves. I had to suppress my laughter as he rolled along on a wheeled ladder, sliding from shelf to shelf.
    Saul came down from his ladder and showed me the rest of the place. Every room was stacked with more magazines, more newspapers. Not as high as the ones in the living room. Still, newsprint, in all shapes and sizes, was the prominent feature of decor throughout his abode. The coup de grâce was when he showed me “my” room, the room where I would sleep if I were to accept his offer. It was a five-by-ten-foot walk-in closet with an old dusty mattress on the floor. Picky or not, I needed a tad more creature comforts than Saul’s apartment would provide.
    On my way out the door, I tried to be diplomatic. “You have a fascinating lifestyle here. I just don’t think I’d fit in.”
    I closed the door gently behind me and ran down the three flights of stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. I walked around the block twice before I decompressed enough to get into my car. And then I collapsed into the bucket seat, rested my hands on the steering wheel, and whispered to myself and to whoever happened to be listening, “I’ll brush my teeth three times a day. I won’t swear. I’ll volunteer at the children’s hospital down the block. Just make this next guy normal. Let him be the one.”
    Fortunately, traffic wasn’t too bad. Most people were at work. I just wished the smog would disappear so the