change diapers. Get upchucked on. You know…all those cool little things babies do. And I gotta tell yah, Wade; in all honesty, marrying Maggie’s the best thing that ever happened to you. If you hadn’t met her, you’d still be listening to those weird fuckin’ voices in your head instead of having adult conversations. And in case you don’t know it, you can only fish so much. When you’re fished out, your brain shuts down and you start watching re-runs of The Andy Griffith Show . Then you die.”
Matching Bill’s smirk, he said, “Well, you’re right about one thing, old buddy; without Maggie, I definitely wouldn’t have anyone to have an adult conversation with.”
“That’s hilarious, Wade. Really, it is.” Then he snarled, “But I’m like Peter Pan; I’m never gonna grow up.”
Six months later, Maggie gave birth to Wade’s third son, Adam, and Bill became a godfather.
Chapter Two
The Project
Three years later, Bill was still at it. He was relentless in his critique of President Owen, who he called the most worthless president in history.
“He doesn’t have a clue, Wade. No one, not even a dipshit from the streets, would do the things he does. He doesn’t even know how many states there are.”
Rising from his wheelchair, he began imitating the president’s walk. Sauntering toward the kitchen, he pantomimed getting off Air Force One and flipping the bird at the imaginary Marine standing by the ladder. Then he staggered and lurched drunkenly toward an equally imaginary Whitehouse while scratching his ass.
Wade was amused. “That’s John Wayne’s walk, dipshit, not the presidents.”
Bill grinned. “Whatever. Doesn’t change the fact he’s a moron.”
While Wade didn’t believe President Owen was responsible for all the country’s ills, there was no doubt in his mind a dark chapter had been opened in the glorious history of the United States of America. The Republicans could blame Owen, and the Dems could blame his predecessor, but as far as he was concerned, who was to blame was irrelevant. The country was in trouble. That was a fact and the only logical solution was to prepare for a chaotic ending.
It was time to begin survival preparations. He bought survival gear and prepared bug-out bags that contained basic survival supplies. Wade allowed they could each pack one item that had nothing to do with survival. Maggie cheated. She opted for her favorite book, “The Stand,” plus a bottle of body lotion. Wade chose a pound of ground Sumatra, and Adam packed his favorite HALO, Master Chief figurine.
With the packed bags resting patiently in the closet, Wade began utilizing a series of colored dots to chart every event that could impact the United States. His theory was that if the dots could be connected, they would eventually paint a picture.
Wade’s son Randal called from La Guardia upon returning from his latest tour of duty in Afghanistan.
“Hi, Dad. We still on for Christmas?”
“Of course.”
“Good. I have something important to discuss with you.”
Randal Coltrane began his army career as an enlisted man with the 82 nd Airborne. He did a tour in Iraq, and when he rotated back to the states, he finished school and was commissioned a 2 nd Lieutenant. He went on to Ranger school, and after two years was accepted into Special Forces. He was exactly like his father, both physically and mentally. They had the same brown hair and piercing blue eyes. They also had the same mentality, except Randal had considerably less tolerance for stupidity. Taller than his dad at six-foot-one, he was two hundred ten pounds of muscle packed into a chiseled physique. He also had the stamina of two men, or at least it seemed that way to those who attempted to keep up with him on a hike. He could do ten miles over rugged terrain carrying a fifty-pound pack in less than two hours. His wife Carol was an army dentist. They met during a routine dental exam on a stormy April first and thirty