Prochownik's Dream Read Free

disturbing.’
    Powerful and disturbing! He let the book drop to the floor and transferred the child’s portrait of him to his telephone hand, then he leaned down and took hold of her wrist. Bending to her level, he begged her, ‘Wait for Daddy a minute! Please , darling! I’m coming!’ The puerility of his eagerness to hear what Marina had to say about his work shamed him.
    â€˜There was no one else there. It was a weird feeling being alone in that vast space of Andy’s with your crowd of faceless people. I could smell them. They seemed to be standing there sweating and waiting for me to do something. I felt I was being accused. Of inaction, I suppose, was it? Something like that? A failure to acknowledge their plight? Is that what we were supposed to feel? Were they supposed to make us feel guilty? Well I felt guilty anyway. But perhaps that was just me. Though we’ve all got this guilt nowadays, haven’t we? About everything. I don’t know whether that’s what you meant. I should have called you before this and said something. There was a kind of eerie silence about it.’
    Nada released her grip, suddenly, and his hand slipped from her wrist. She walked over to her little table and began putting away her coloured pencils, her manner poised and self-sufficient, her head down, concentrating on her task, ignoring him.
    â€˜Robert didn’t get to see it?’ He was dismayed to hear the self-pitying resentment of his tone.
    â€˜It’s not been easy, Toni. The move back, I mean. It hasn’t been straightforward. There’s nothing wrong between us, it’s not that. It’s just that Robert hasn’t had a minute. He meant to go. You can’t imagine. He just didn’t get a chance. Then you’d dismantled it and taken it away.’
    â€˜You needn’t explain. It’s okay.’
    â€˜It’s not okay.’ She allowed a pause. ‘I’m sorry, Toni. We seem to be like strangers.’ There was another pause. ‘Robert’s father has come to stay with us. So that’s complicated things as well.’
    â€˜I thought Robert’s father lived in Germany?’
    â€˜He did. He’s ill. He’s dying.’
    He watched Nada put her pencil case in the drawer of her desk and close it. She picked up her Snoopy Dog and, holding the toy to her chest, set off towards the door.
    â€˜Sorry, Marina, I’d love to talk but I’ve absolutely got to go. See you Wednesday.’
    â€˜See you Wednesday, Toni,’ Marina said. She sounded disappointed. ‘It’s good to at least be in touch again.’
    He hung up the telephone, stepped across the studio and swept the little girl into his arms. ‘Gotcha!’
    She cried out with delight, ‘Daddeee!’ She clung to him and bit his shoulder hard.
    He set her drawing of him on her table, then carried her across the courtyard into the house. On the way to the front door along the passage he paused beside a small framed gouache that hung on the wall. It was a modest tonal image of a straight-backed chair and the corner of a kitchen table with a jug and a bowl.
    Nada pointed at the picture. ‘Granddad!’
    â€˜Yes, Granddad, darling. He would have loved you like crazy.’ At the door he set Nada on her feet. ‘Let’s have a really big swing.’
    They went out through the gate and walked hand-in-hand along the footpath. At the main road he scooped Nada up and waited for a gap in the traffic, then he ran across with her held against him. On the other side he set her down on the grass. ‘There’s no one on them!’ he shouted. ‘They’re ours ! I’ll get there first! I’ll get there first!’
    She screamed in terror and excitement and ran from him across the dry summer grass towards the safe ground of the empty swings. He followed her closely, watching anxiously as she clambered onto the swing. Marina’s phone