Prank Wars Read Free Page B

joke?”
    “Nope.”
    That meant the fifth break-up in our apartment complex this week. This one wasn’t too much of a surprise. AmyLee’s latest boyfriend was a snake. His hand was on AmyLee’s, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off the other girls in the room. Every time his eyes rested on me, I treated him to the evil eye—it was my latest scar from this battle of the sexes. “Why did he break it off?”
    “We’ll find out, I’m sure,” Tory said.
    AmyLee was a drama queen. She wouldn’t rest until we knew every sordid detail, especially since our apartment was quickly turning into group therapy for the heartbroken. Everyone knew where my sympathies lay; they were never with the male. “He probably wasn’t ready for a relationship either,” I drawled. “It’s growing into quite an epidemic.” I pulled my pen from my dark hair. It fell past my shoulders in a messy tangle and I ignored it, rolling the pen between my fingers. “We live among the most scared men in the world, my friend.”
    I wasn’t sure if it was a college thing, a twenty-something thing or even just a guy thing, but where were the manly men? The gentlemen? The men of honor? All over if my mom could be believed. The problem was that if they were manly, they were players. If they were gentlemen, they were scared. And if they were men of honor? They weren’t interested in me. And if they were all three? They were taken. Seriously, did we all have to fight for Captain Moroni in the next life? I didn’t know one girl who hadn’t called dibs on him. It was a cat-fight in the making.
    “You think these guys are scared?” Tory asked. “Or just playing?”
    I shrugged, trying not to think of him …and then him …and oh yeah, most especially him . Yep, Cameron was the straw that broke me. It was humiliating that it had taken so many breakups to know it was stupid to believe I could ever have a healthy relationship.
    The door opened and my roommate’s head poked into the room. Tory and I jumped guiltily when we saw Lizzie’s face. She always wore celestial white. Today she wore matching pearls in her ears. They made a great contrast against her dark skin. I tried not to look like I was stirring up trouble. “Hey Lizzie.”
    Lizzie nodded with the dignified air of an Ethiopian princess. Well, not really Ethiopian—her dad was from Nigeria and her mom was from Washington, but she looked exotic enough. “You’re not holding another of those war meetings again, are you?” she reproached. I tried not to look guilty, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure how. I knew that Lizzie did. That’s why I had offered her the position as my second-in-command in this war, but she refused to take the honor. “Don’t you have to get to class?” she asked.
    “I’m skipping it,” I decided on the spot. It was a business class anyway. My business major was one of the many casualties of my break-up with Cameron. There was no way I wanted to pick out happy brides’ wedding cakes when I wouldn’t have one of my own. Two weeks ago, I nixed wedding coordinator and switched to General Studies, which meant I had only one year left of BYU before I was out. I was too old to be here anyway. I started school late, switched my major too many times. And now I was twenty-six. Already, I felt like a spinster.
    “Enough is enough,” Lizzie said. “You’ve got to stop these Break-up Anonymous Meetings ! First Johanna, then Emily…and now Kim? You’re not helping them!”
    “What are you talking—?” It was best to plead stupid, but before I could, in stormed AmyLee in tight leggings and boots. I was glad her wrath wasn’t directed at me, but at a supposedly stronger man. She was yet another girl in our apartment complex in need of a battle plan against her ex. I ignored Lizzie’s accusing look and indicated a chair. “Sit down, AmyLee.”
    “I’d rather stand.”
    Lizzie leaned on the door frame. “Your methods are unhealthy, Madeleine.”
    “Look,