All Or Nothing Read Free

the dish rack a jelly jar that doubled as a drinking glass. She ran the cup under hot water several times. When she was satisfied that it was clean, she reached into the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of tropical punch Kool-Aid. Shantell drunk glass after glass in an effort to quench her thirst. She was so intent upon drinking that she never heard her mother creeping up on her. It was a noise from the floor that alerted Shantell to her mother’s presence.
    “Shantell!” Brenda Bryant barked. “You finally brought yo’ ass home, huh?”
    Startled, Shantell dropped the jar, shattering the glass on the floor and sending Kool-Aid everywhere. Her mother almost blew her high with that stunt. Once she came to her senses and realized actually who was behind her, Shantell was pissed.
    “I thought I told you to get somebody else to watch ya kid,” her mother chastised. “I done raised my kids. I ain’t taken’ care of no more babies. I’m getting’ tired of yo’ shit. Nobody told yo’ ass to have no baby. Every time I turn around…”
    Shantell stared at her mother in disbelief. She continued to stare as her mother ranted and raved. Shantell thought the whole thing was much ado over nothing. It wasn’t like her mother had something else better to do; after all, she didn’t work, nor did she have any significant other to tend to. No selfrespecting man wanted to be bothered with her. Literally, she had no life. Her mother’s life had gone up in smoke from the first hit of crack she took. After that, it was a wrap.
    Shantell thought her mother should be thankful for even being able to spend time with her granddaughter. Hell, she should be thankful that Shantell even still talked to her. The Lord knew that Brenda didn’t even deserve that common courtesy. Not after all that she had done to Shantell.
    Instead of looking up to her mother, respecting and loving her, Shantell looked down on her. Brenda Bryant had been on cocaine or heroin, off and on, for most of Shantell’s eighteen years on this earth. Shantell always felt like she raised herself. It was a rarity when her mother was in her right state of mind. Drugs had caused Brenda Bryant to neglect her motherly duties. Shantell felt like she never had anyone to give her guidance, or to mold her into a young lady. She blamed her mother for setting her up for a lifetime of failure. What she did learn from her mother was what not to do, instead of what to do. For these reasons, Shantell felt like her mother robbed her of her youth. Brenda was the reason that she was in this messed-up life predicament now, which was why Shantell let her mother make reimbursements in the form of babysitting.
    Her mother continued. “You gonna pay me for babysitting. Ain’t nuttin’ in this world free.”
    “So this is what this is all about, huh?” Shantell replied. “You want some money, huh?”
    Shantell reached in her Gucci bag and pulled out a handful of crumpled-up one dollar bills. She shoved them into her mother’s hand. This immediately killed her mother’s protest... “Here you go! Take it! You know you want it.”
    She didn’t have to tell her mother twice. Brenda snatched up the money and flew out the door like she was on a mission. She was on her way to the nearest crack house.
    “Run along, crack head!” Shantell yelled after her. “Go get high. I hope yo’ next fuckin’ hit is yo’ last, bitch!”
    Brenda didn’t even bother to say anything in her own defense. She knew what her daughter had said was absolutely true. She was going to take the money and blow it all on drugs, just like she did her monthly welfare check. Just like Brenda did any little bit of money she got her hands on. She had a hell of a drug habit to support and it seemed like it grew worse every day. The mythical monkey that was on her back had turned into a full-grown gorilla.
    In this household, mother and daughter were cast in reversed roles. Shantell was the sole provider for the