guy had gotten around.
"The first thing I'll show you is this way," I said, beginning the guided tour.
I took Kyle to the next area, which was more or less a storage room. He was taking it all in. His head was on a swivel as he looked for what I had promised would be so exciting. On the other side of the door was a room filled with boxes and boxes.
"What is all this?" he asked. Cautiously opening his first box, he saw it was filled with beer. "No. Fucking. Way!" He shouted as he tore the box open the rest of the way.
"Oh, hell yes! This room is filled with booze, man. Beer, liquor, wine; you name your poison. We're all set, man. We'll go ahead and keep this just between us, right? Until we have more time to figure out what else we can do with it, anyway."
"All the alcohol in town and it’s just for us? That sounds fucking legit, Pete!"
"I thought you'd feel that way. Good thing, too. You still have to see what’s in the next room."
"Uh, no. I really don’t, homie. I'm never leaving this room for the rest of my life. I live here now. This is my new home. Could you go ahead and have all my mail forwarded here?" He was already sipping away at his first beer in ecstasy.
"Trust me. You'll really want to see what’s behind door number two." I passed into the through the door and made my way across the main room into the next space. Kyle followed reluctantly, stuffing another beer into his pocket.
In the new room was a thing of true beauty. Carefully tucked inside a glass display case, that I had wiped the dust from when I initially found the place, sat two M16-A4 rifles—Military grade. Each had its own optic mounted on it along with a flashlight with a pressure switch on the pistol grip. The guns looked like they had hardly ever been used. There were no scuffs on the stock or anywhere else.
"Shit . . . I didn't make it, did I?" Kyle asked. “That zombie got me and this is heaven? Oh well. At least I made it to heaven, huh? Oh! And at least this way I'm sure to get a chance at fucking Evelyn! Sex, booze, and guns; I think I can do this for eternity."
"No, bro. This ain't heaven. And even if it was, you'd still have no shot with my little butterfly. This shit’s as real as it gets, man. These footlockers are all full of incendiary rounds, see the yellow tips?" I asked as I flipped one of the lids open. "We'll be able to really protect our town now, my friend."
"This is like . . . if a million years of Christmases and birthdays had an orgy to produce this one perfectly crafted, beautiful day just for me. I can die happy now."
Chapter Three
“AAAAAHHHHH!"
I was ripped away from my beautiful, drunken dream of the breasts I’d met the day before by an unnaturally loud sound. Was there a woman in here?
"What in the unholy hell is happening?!" I shouted the slew of slurred words. The light burned my eyes as I tried my best to keep them open and find the source of the sound.
"Sorry to wake you, bro. Liquor got the best of me this morning. I've been yakking for a good hour now," Kyle called from the bathroom down the hall.
"Man, when you puke, you sound like a goddamn exorcism. You alright in there, man?" I said as I made my way down the hall.
"Best. Night. Ever, Pete. I think I just got a bit carried away last night. I had a little bit of everything there was. How are you holding up?"
"You know me. With all this Irish blood in me, I still feel like a million bucks."
He turned his head to look at me as I stood in the doorway. "Well, in that case, I really hate you," he said with bits of regurgitated pie still in his mouth.
"Yeah, I bet it must be exhausting to be so jealous of me all the time."
"Blah, blah, blah. What's for breakfast?" Kyle grumbled.
"You, sir, are in luck," I said, turning from him and heading toward the small kitchen. "I had some eggs stored here that I found a few days ago.”
"Found? Or took from farmer Johnson’s chicken coop, again?"
"C’mon, Kyle, you know he said we're allowed to
"The first thing I'll show you is this way," I said, beginning the guided tour.
I took Kyle to the next area, which was more or less a storage room. He was taking it all in. His head was on a swivel as he looked for what I had promised would be so exciting. On the other side of the door was a room filled with boxes and boxes.
"What is all this?" he asked. Cautiously opening his first box, he saw it was filled with beer. "No. Fucking. Way!" He shouted as he tore the box open the rest of the way.
"Oh, hell yes! This room is filled with booze, man. Beer, liquor, wine; you name your poison. We're all set, man. We'll go ahead and keep this just between us, right? Until we have more time to figure out what else we can do with it, anyway."
"All the alcohol in town and it’s just for us? That sounds fucking legit, Pete!"
"I thought you'd feel that way. Good thing, too. You still have to see what’s in the next room."
"Uh, no. I really don’t, homie. I'm never leaving this room for the rest of my life. I live here now. This is my new home. Could you go ahead and have all my mail forwarded here?" He was already sipping away at his first beer in ecstasy.
"Trust me. You'll really want to see what’s behind door number two." I passed into the through the door and made my way across the main room into the next space. Kyle followed reluctantly, stuffing another beer into his pocket.
In the new room was a thing of true beauty. Carefully tucked inside a glass display case, that I had wiped the dust from when I initially found the place, sat two M16-A4 rifles—Military grade. Each had its own optic mounted on it along with a flashlight with a pressure switch on the pistol grip. The guns looked like they had hardly ever been used. There were no scuffs on the stock or anywhere else.
"Shit . . . I didn't make it, did I?" Kyle asked. “That zombie got me and this is heaven? Oh well. At least I made it to heaven, huh? Oh! And at least this way I'm sure to get a chance at fucking Evelyn! Sex, booze, and guns; I think I can do this for eternity."
"No, bro. This ain't heaven. And even if it was, you'd still have no shot with my little butterfly. This shit’s as real as it gets, man. These footlockers are all full of incendiary rounds, see the yellow tips?" I asked as I flipped one of the lids open. "We'll be able to really protect our town now, my friend."
"This is like . . . if a million years of Christmases and birthdays had an orgy to produce this one perfectly crafted, beautiful day just for me. I can die happy now."
Chapter Three
“AAAAAHHHHH!"
I was ripped away from my beautiful, drunken dream of the breasts I’d met the day before by an unnaturally loud sound. Was there a woman in here?
"What in the unholy hell is happening?!" I shouted the slew of slurred words. The light burned my eyes as I tried my best to keep them open and find the source of the sound.
"Sorry to wake you, bro. Liquor got the best of me this morning. I've been yakking for a good hour now," Kyle called from the bathroom down the hall.
"Man, when you puke, you sound like a goddamn exorcism. You alright in there, man?" I said as I made my way down the hall.
"Best. Night. Ever, Pete. I think I just got a bit carried away last night. I had a little bit of everything there was. How are you holding up?"
"You know me. With all this Irish blood in me, I still feel like a million bucks."
He turned his head to look at me as I stood in the doorway. "Well, in that case, I really hate you," he said with bits of regurgitated pie still in his mouth.
"Yeah, I bet it must be exhausting to be so jealous of me all the time."
"Blah, blah, blah. What's for breakfast?" Kyle grumbled.
"You, sir, are in luck," I said, turning from him and heading toward the small kitchen. "I had some eggs stored here that I found a few days ago.”
"Found? Or took from farmer Johnson’s chicken coop, again?"
"C’mon, Kyle, you know he said we're allowed to
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