Pirates to Pyramids: Las Vegas Taxi Tales Read Free Page B

for veteran visitors who alre ady know this town well. One evening shortly after the Palms Hotel opened I picked up four attractive young girls who wanted to see this new hotel.
     
    They asked me a stock question, "Do you ever see any celebrities?" I stayed positive and said, "Oh yeah, especially at the newest hotels and you are on your way to the newest one in town." Sell it, baby, sell it. It was the truth... but man, what a stretch to get it to happen.
     
    As we rolled up on the hotel property we were all shocked, me especially, given how many uneventful rides I had had. We saw one of the stars of the hottest TV show of the year, CSI, George Eads, walk in front of the cab.
     
    "How's that, girls?" I milked it. They screamed and I didn't blame them one bit. I almost screamed myself. But that would have blown my cool cabdriver thing.
     
    So as I was thinking "I am the coolest," for finding them a celebrity. Then I see how a really cool guy performs. He was looking so good with the muscles and the Hollywood haircut and perfect shades I just assumed he would break their hearts. Nope.
     
    Beyond all my expectations, he walked back to our car, having noticed the girls’ excitement. He chatted up the girls a little and let them take pictures with him like he had nothing else to do. Then he blew them all a kiss and glided away so coolly into his Hummer that I started to think we were in a dream sequence. The girls must have thought the same because we all sat there, frozen, eyes wide open.
     
    I give good cab.
     
     
 

SEX IN THE BACK SEAT

    People often ask me if I've ever seen someone "doing it" in my cab. Some might want to and I am a romantic but I discourage it, mostly because my rides only last an average of ten minutes or less. I learned this the hard way.
 
     
    One night, two guys and a gal got into my car after an amorous spell in front of the hotel while they waited for a cab. I found it odd that she was kissing and pawing each guy, like she couldn't decide which one to choose. They entered the car, named a destination hotel and asked me to turn my mirror sideways.

    “ No. It is a safety hazard and we will be there in less than ten minutes.” One of the guys offered me $20 to use the side mirrors for the remaining 2 miles, so we worked it out. I assumed he heard me about the short distance.
     
    I checked the two outside mirrors and they were correctly positioned for a short drive. Then I saw her feet. I thought what are her feet doing out that window and then I saw her hair blowing out the other window.
    I remembered how extra tall she was standing next to these guys, but nothing about her suggested she was a circus performer or any kind of pro but they were all a little drunk and now she was lying across the two guys who were making noises. Humming and munching noises.
     
     
    Seemed like a poor time for guys to compete but evidently, neither wanted to lose out so close to their goal and so they were working on opposite ends, simultaneously.
     
     
    Well, to each their own but, damn, I was glad to see their hotel approaching. I told them, twice, "We are almost there."
     
     
    I confirmed she was just an amorous amateur when we pulled up to their hotel lobby and the whole cab line of people swooshed their heads with their mouths open as we went by and came to a stop.

    One of the guys said, "Oh, oh!" she said, "What?"

    "We're here," they said. “Hurry, put my clothes back on, hurry," said she.
     
     
    They worked for a very long minute at this, with the open mouthed people staring at the cab which was as interesting as delays ever get in my business. I bit both cheeks until they paid me.
     
    Thinking back I remembered the doorman blushed and you cannot get a Vegas doorman to blush, since they've seen almost everything..

    The next people to get up to my cab studied the passenger area thoroughly before getting in which, of course, I understood. They said, "This seat is still hot. Do you get this