Pieces For You Read Free Page B

up.”
    The voice called to me—sweet, like an angel.  Was I dead this time?  Was it finally over?
    “Sam, you need to wake up.  You can do this…fight your way back.”
    Everleigh.  I could hear her calling to me.  I tried to find her but all I could see was pitch black.  I wheezed as my panic increased. 
    “Dammit, Sam, you have to breathe.  Don’t you do this to me, you are stronger than this.”
    The world shook and shards of light pierced the darkness.
    “There you go, open your eyes.  You are safe, in the apartment.  Take a deep breath.”
    Ev’s face appeared above me, concerned but not terrified—that was an improvement.
    “Hey,” I whispered, my throat burning.
    A glass of water appeared before me and I readily gulped the cooling relief.  I must have been screaming again.  She put her arm behind my back to support me as I continued to sip.  When the glass was empty, Ev took it from my shaking hands.
    “Are you okay alone for a minute?  I want to refill the glass and grab my blankets.”
    I nodded, unable to speak.
    “I’ll be right back.  I’ll leave the lights on for you.”
    She slipped from my room and I heard her speaking with Hunter in hushed tones.
    I lay back down and concentrated on isolating and relaxing each muscle, one by one.  Tension still held my body as tight as a guitar string.  The remnants of my panic were tangible, like boulders weighing down my limbs and restricting my breathing.  I despised my inability to control the episodes.  Rationally, I understood they were a normal reaction, even months after the attack.  But I resented myself for succumbing to the incapacitating fear—it was like he could still control my body…shit, not going there.  I would not think about him, about what he did…dammit!  I clenched my fist and hit my bed with the full force of my frustration.  I wanted to howl my anger, but I didn’t want Ev and Hunter to know the truth.  I couldn’t let them know how much effort I was exerting to cling to my sanity and claw my way back to normalcy.  The struggle required for me to suppress my panic, forget the night terrors, and project the illusion that I was the same girl they knew and loved was mentally exhausting.  That girl had been destroyed, shattered—not cracked or chipped, but completely obliterated into millions of tiny specks.  I had regained pieces of Old Sam, but I knew I would never be able to collect all of the fragments.  I would never be whole again, and I had no clue what could fill the gaps that remain. 
    I grunted as the ache of my fingernails piercing my palms registered.  The pain was grounding, but I had learned not to court the fleeting comfort of pain to alleviate my inner turmoil. 
    When Ev returned, she must have thought I was already asleep because she silently arranged her pallet on the floor at the foot of my bed.  Soon after, her soft snore filled the room, and I listened to the strangely comforting sound for hours before finally drifting to sleep.
     

     
    I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see.  A loud crack, the only warning, seconds before excruciating pain exploded in my abdomen.  Again.  Again.  Oh god, make it stop—I’ll do anything to make it stop.  A whoosh of air and the world began to fade, my mind and my body both shutting down.  I don’t want to die.  “Please.”
     
    “Sam, wake up.”
    The world shook and my eyes popped open.  I blinked against the jarring light, trying to focus on Ev’s face.  She was wearing a slight smile tonight.
    “It was better this time, easier to wake you up.”
    “That’s good,” I said without enthusiasm.
    “It’s been three nights since the last one—you’re getting better.  Be patient with yourself.”
    She hugged me tightly and stroked the back of my head, just like her mother used to when I was hurt.  There was nothing I wouldn’t give to have Meme here.  She’d know how to make me feel better, if only for a little while. 
    “I