Pieces For You Read Free Page A

stared into the pain-etched face of my best friend.  I had to avert my eyes momentarily to avoid her suffering; I hated to be confronted with the agony I caused her…again.  This proved to be a mistake when my vision was unexpectedly filled with Hunter’s sympathetic expression.  
    Shit, it just kept getting worse.  It was bad enough when I thought Ev was here for another one of my fits, but her boyfriend was witness too. 
    “I’m okay,” I croaked unconvincingly, even to myself.  I was anything but okay; I was as far from okay as a person could get without NASA and a space shuttle’s aid.
    Ev’s arms wrapped around my shoulders and I desperately wanted to shrug them off, still unprepared to be touched after the dream.  But I knew the gesture of comfort was also for Ev’s benefit, so I tolerated her embrace…barely.
    I focused on my months at TPC and began the breathing techniques I had learned during my stay—my “recovery.”  Slow, even breaths until my lungs were at capacity, hold it for three-count, slow and controlled exhale.  I repeated the process five times before I began to feel grounded again.  I raised my hand and patted Ev’s back, communicating my gratitude and reassurance.  She reluctantly released me as Hunter stepped forward to wrap his arms around her waist from behind.  She leaned her head back against his chest, and I felt a prick of jealousy for the ease with which she accepted his physical comfort.  Guilt swamped me for begrudging Ev and Hunter the happiness they deserved.  What was wrong with me?  I was not a covetous, bitchy person—at least I never used to be.  I’m not sure who or what I was anymore.
    “Babe, I think I’m going to sleep in here tonight,” Ev said to Hunter.
    “Okay love, I’ll get your pillow and some blankets,” he said as he left the room.
    I sighed, wanting to decline but knowing I would never fall back to sleep if left alone.  I returned from TPC six days ago, and Ev had slept on the floor next to my bed for several hours each of the nights.  I don’t know how Hunter—or her back—could stand it night after night.  Hunter was as much a prisoner as Ev to my ridiculous fears.  He may not be camped out on my floor, but I was unable to sleep if he wasn’t in the apartment.  I needed the security his gun-toting, FBI presence provided.
    Hunter returned with blankets, a pillow, and a thick foam pad that I had seen in camping commercials…that was new.  He shrugged as if all of this was perfectly normal as he quickly made a bed for her.  He tucked her in and placed a sweet kiss on her lips, telling her he loved her.  Then he stopped by the side of the bed and placed a swift kiss on the top of my head while whispering “sweet dreams.”
    Hunter was the only man I could stand to touch me or be near me.  He was a friend and a brother-in-law of sorts, if you discount the fact that Ev and I were not sisters by blood nor were they engaged or married.  Regardless of the technical correctness of his honorary title, the sentiment was 100% accurate.  Hunter had been by my side, supporting me and Ev, every step of the way.
    “You okay?” Everleigh asked quietly.
    “No,” I answered honestly…for a change.
    “You’re going to be,” she said with conviction.
    “How do you know?”
    “Because we won’t let it be any other way.”
    I clung to her confident determination in the absence of my own.  Before I fell back to sleep, I mouthed a quick prayer, hoping she was right.
     

     
    I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see.  His weight was pressing down on me, trapping me, forcing branches and rocks to cut into my bare back.  I hurt—everywhere.  I could no longer discern between the various sources of pain; it was a tidal wave of agony I could not fight.  The sounds of his grunts echoed around me.  His smell, even through the hood, churned my stomach until I became ill.  I don’t want to die.  “Please.”
     
    “Sam, wake