drink. He tried for a confident smile, since kings should always look confident, though truthfully he was already starting to worry about Ouranos’s curse—that someday Kronos’s own children would depose him.
In spite of that, he yelled, “My siblings, a toast! We have begun a Golden Age!”
And if you like lots of lying, stealing, backstabbing, and cannibalism, then read on, because it definitely was a Golden Age for all that.
THE GOLDEN AGE OF
CANNIBALISM
A T FIRST, K RONOS WASN’T SO BAD . He had to work his way up to being a complete slime bucket.
He released the Elder Cyclopes and the Hundred-Handed Ones from Tartarus, which made Gaea happy. The monstrous guys turned out to be useful, too. They had spent all their time in the abyss learning how to forge metal and build with stone (I guess that’s pretty much all there was to do), so in gratitude for their freedom, they constructed a massive palace for Kronos on top of Mount Othrys, which back then was the tallest mountain in Greece.
The palace was made from void-black marble. Towering columns and vast halls gleamed in the light of magical torches. Kronos’s throne was carved from a solid block of obsidian, inlaid with gold and diamonds—which sounds impressive, but probably wasn’t very comfortable. That didn’t matter to Kronos. He could sit there all day, surveying the entire world below him, cackling evilly, “Mine! All mine!”
His five Titan brothers and six Titan sisters didn’t argue with him. They had pretty much staked out their favorite territories already—and besides, after seeing Kronos wield that scythe, they didn’t want to get on his bad side.
In addition to being king of the cosmos, Kronos became the Titan of time. He couldn’t pop around the time stream like Doctor Who or anything, but he could occasionally make time slow down or speed up. Whenever you’re in an incredibly boring lecture that seems to take forever, blame Kronos. Or when your weekend is way too short, that’s Kronos’s fault, too.
He was especially interested in the destructive power of time. Being immortal, he couldn’t believe what a few short years could do to a mortal life. Just for kicks, he used to travel around the world, fast-forwarding the lives of trees, plants, and animals so he could watch them wither and die. He never got tired of that.
As for his brothers, the four who helped with the murder of Ouranos were given the four corners of the earth—which is weird, since the Greeks thought the world was a big flat circle like a shield, so it didn’t really have corners, but whatever.
Krios was the Titan of the south. He took the ram for his symbol, since the ram constellation rose in the southern sky. His navy blue armor was dotted with stars. Ram’s horns jutted from his helmet. Krios was the dark, silent type. He would stand down there at the southern edge of world, watching the constellations and thinking deep thoughts—or maybe he was just thinking he should have requested a more exciting job.
Koios, the Titan of the north, lived at the opposite end of the world (obviously). He was sometimes called Polus, because he controlled the northern pole. This was way before Santa Claus moved in. Koios was also the first Titan to have the gift of prophecy. In fact, Koios literally means question . He could ask questions of the sky, and sometimes the sky would whisper answers. Creepy? Yes. I don’t know if he was communing with the spirit of Ouranos or what, but his glimpses of the future were so useful that other Titans started asking him burning questions like: What’s the weather going to be on Saturday? Is Kronos going to kill me today? What should I wear to Rhea’s dance? That kind of thing. Eventually Koios would pass down the gift of prophecy to his children.
Hyperion, Titan of the east, was the flashiest of the four. Since the light of day came from the east every morning, he called himself the Lord of Light. Behind his back, everybody