Pemberley to Waterloo: Georgiana Darcy's Diary, Volume 2 Read Free Page B

in company and so self-assured, without being in the least egotistical or vain. But when he saw me today, he smiled and his eyes lighted up--that sounds like a novelist's figure of speech, but they really did. And yet if I hadn't believed I would never write the words shy and Edward together in a single sentence, I should have said that that was how he looked. Suddenly uncertain, almost shy.
    His hair is a little longer than when last I saw him, and he looks a little tired, I suppose from the travel. And even at a distance, I could see the love and longing in his lean face. But he went still a moment, his hands on his horse's reins--and that was when I realised he must have been nervous of this meeting, too.
    The gong has just rung, which means I do have to go down. But I'll write this last part, because it's so clear in my memory now and I want to capture it here so that I can remember it always.
    I heard myself say, "Edward!" And then I felt laughter bubble up inside me, where the clenched knot of worry had been before. I'm not sure who moved first, but all at once his arms were around me and he was swinging me up and off the ground, the muscles of his chest and shoulder solid and strong under my cheek. His voice had gone husky and he whispered into my hair, "God, it's good--it's so good to see you again."

Monday 19 December 1814
    Did I say everything was all right? I only wish it were.
    Last night was ... perfect. So perfect that it hurts in a way to remember it now. Still, I'll write it all down--if only to remind myself of how things can be between Edward and me. At least I hope they can. Even if at the moment I don't see how.
    Edward and I were seated next to each other at dinner. I could scarcely eat anything, though. I kept looking sideways at Edward and feeling ... feeling as though I'd stepped through a door from winter into a summer's day.
    That also sounds like a novelist's exaggeration, I suppose. But even if the fighting in France has ended, there's still a part of me that's been afraid all the time Edward has been away. There can be trouble anywhere--and in Ireland especially, where there's constantly the threat of another uprising like the one just over fifteen years ago. And wherever there's trouble, the army can be called in to fight, just as they have been in the past.
    Finally Edward looked at me and smiled, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners. "You know, keep looking at me that way, and I'm going to start thinking that you're glad to see me again."
    I laughed. "Oh, well, that won't do at all. Give me a moment to shift my chair and I'll turn my back so that I can ignore you properly. Then you can try to persuade me into marrying you all over again."
    After dinner, Kitty went upstairs to the nursery to help with putting Jack and Thomas to bed. Fitzwilliam said he had some letters to write, and so went to his study. And Elizabeth looked exhausted and said she was going up to lie down herself. Though she laughed and kissed my cheek as she went out and said that at least the baby saved her the trouble of pretending to be too tired to stay downstairs with Edward and me.
    So Edward and I were left alone in the parlour. We spoke of--
    Come to think of it, I have no idea what we spoke of. Though I suppose I must have asked him about his journey from London. We were standing together in front of the warm glow of the hearth. The firelight was casting a patchwork of shadows over Edward's lean face--and every part of me wanted to reach out towards him and touch his cheek, run my fingers through his hair. But I was feeling ... if not quite shy, at least still a little unfamiliar with the Edward standing before me--the Edward who isn't just my guardian any longer, but the man who'll be my husband in a few months' time.
    But then--I can't even remember whether Edward said anything, or whether he only reached out and took my hand. I felt the warmth of the touch run through me like the glow of the fire. Though all