Pemberley to Waterloo: Georgiana Darcy's Diary, Volume 2 Read Free Page A

regiments of the infantry have now been sent off to fight the war against the American colonies.
    Still, Edward being posted to Ireland makes his travelling to Pemberley almost as difficult as it would be from France--and that in turn is why I've only seen him twice before this in the last half year.
    We've written letters, of course--at least it is permissible for us to correspond, now that we are betrothed. But it's not the same as being with him. And each time we've been apart and it turns into weeks and then months since I have last seen him, I have started to feel as though ... as though I must surely have just imagined his falling in love with me.
    Edward is ten years older than I am, which makes him nine-and-twenty this year. And I've been in love with him since I was six years old. Hopelessly in love, I always thought--because it seemed to me I stood a greater chance of being struck by lightning than ever hearing Edward say that he loved me in return.
    And then, too, it occurred to me that our whole relationship has changed. And to worry that perhaps I wouldn't have anything to say to Edward-the-lover. I scarcely ever have my old childhood attacks of freezing shyness anymore. But waiting for Edward's arrival this morning, thinking about seeing him again at last, I could feel one coming on. I kept thinking how awful it would be if he came and we were stiff and awkward with each other, instead of easy and friendly as we've always been.
    I kept playing horrible scenarios over and over in my mind in which we talked to each other like over-polite strangers at a dinner table.
    Terribly cold weather we're having, isn't it?
    Yes, but if it stays so, we may have a white Christmas after all.
    But everything is all right. Better than all right.
    Edward rode up to the house just before dinner time. My brother was with him. I suppose I should have explained before that Edward wrote a few weeks ago to say that he had business in London, and then would travel from there on to Pemberley for Christmas. And since Fitzwilliam also had business to conduct in regards our family's London property, he rode out a week ago with the plan of meeting Edward in town, settling their business, and then travelling back together.
    When they arrived, Elizabeth had finished her conversation with Mrs. Reynolds and come to sit with me, so we went out to meet them together. It was then I realised fully how nervous I was of seeing Edward, because my heart was pounding, and I didn't even mind keeping to Elizabeth's slower pace as we walked out to the drive, where some of the stablehands had come out to take Edward's and Fitzwilliam's horses.
    The air was thickening with the shadows of twilight, the sun sets so early in the winter time. Despite the cold, it hasn't snowed yet, and the landscape looked frozen and barren, drained of all colour in the gathering dusk. Even the Pemberley woods looked a little desolate, stark, treeless branches reaching towards an iron-grey sky.
    Edward was just swinging himself down from the saddle when Elizabeth and I came out. He was wearing riding breeches and boots and a dark-green greatcoat instead of his army uniform. And for a brief instant I did feel ... not that he was a stranger, not exactly. Edward could never be a stranger to me, and I know his face so well I could draw it from memory: the lean hard-cut lines of his nose and jaw, dark-brown eyes set deep under straight dark brows. The white line of a scar running down one cheek, a relic of the fighting he saw last year in France.
    But just for an instant, it did seem suddenly unreal. Too much to believe that seven months ago Edward really did tell me he loves me. That we'll be married by the end of this coming summer, just a few short months away.
    But then Edward saw me, and his whole face changed. Edward has always been one of those who can talk to anyone--and make practically anyone into a friend, even on just a few hours' acquaintance. He's so very relaxed and easy