Party Poopers Read Free Page B

pinched his cheek. Okay. Maybe I pinched a little too hard. The redness would go away in a week or two.
    â€œListen up, dudes!” I shouted. “I brought you guys here to play a little game.”

    Some of them cheered and slapped high fives. Others just stared at me.
    I checked my watch. Almost time.
    â€œHere’s what I’m gonna do,” I said. “I’m gonna go up to my room on the third floor and drop water balloons onto your heads.”

    They cheered again.
    â€œAnd I want you guys to cry,” I said. “When I hit you with a water balloon, I want you to cry really loudly and sob your eyes out.”
    The redheaded kid stepped forward. “But we LIKE to have water balloons dropped on us!” he said.
    I pinched his other cheek. “I know you like it,” I said. “But this is a game. I want you to be the biggest crybabies on campus—get it? I want you to pretend that I’m a mean dude, and you hate it.”
    They shook their heads, looking confused.
    I checked my watch again. “Just do it,” I said. “Cry your eyes out. Make it look really sad—okay?”
    I ran into the house. I shot up the stairs to my room and pulled open the window. I could see the little dudes down there, huddled in a circle, talking it over.
    My targets.
    I had a basket of water balloons ready. Piece of cake!
    I leaned out the window. “Get ready, guys!” I shouted down. “I wanna see real tears!”
    From the third floor, I had a good view of the path from the Great Lawn. I knew the three girls would be walking by any minute now, on their way to the girls’ dorm.
    You want to see a creep?
    You want to see a creep and a loser?
    Bernie B. is your man!
    Across the lawn I could see the three girls approaching. Another minute and they’d be here.
    I picked up a fat water balloon in each hand, took a deep breath, and got ready for ACTION!

Chapter 10
S PLAT !
    As soon as April-May, Sharonda, and Jennifer came near, I let the water balloons drop. They made wonderful sounds as they exploded on the kids’ heads.
    â€œWAAAH! WAAAH!” The dudes started wailing and sobbing, just as I told them to.
    â€œI’m drowning! I’m DROWNING!” the redheaded kid screamed. And I hadn’t even dropped one on him yet! This kid was an actor !
    SPLAT!
    â€œWAAAAAH! I’m wet! I’m wet! SOB SOB!”
    The first graders were soaked. Some of them dropped to their knees, crying and sobbing and rubbing their eyes.
    The kids were brilliant !

    I watched April-May and Sharonda shaking their heads. “Can you believe what Bernie is doing?” Sharonda cried to Jennifer.
    â€œSee how that creep treats those little kids?” April-May said. “Just for a mean laugh!”

    â€œWAAAAAH! He hit me! He hit me!

    I leaned out the window and shouted down at the girls. “This is totally FUN! Want to try it?” I tossed back my head and let out an evil laugh.
    Sharonda grabbed Jennifer by the elbow. “See what we mean?” she cried. “See what a loser creep he is?”
    SPLAAAAT !
    â€œWAAAH! WAAAAH!”
    Jennifer looked up and blew me a kiss. Then she turned back to Sharonda. “Oh, boys will be boys,”she said. “Honey Cakes is just having a little fun.”
    Huh?
    I sailed a few more fat balloons out the window.
    SPLAT! One of them dropped a kid to his knees. He started to sob.
    â€œBernie is so unselfish ,” Jennifer said. “He’d rather be with his friends. But here he is, sharing himself with the little kids. Teaching them about life. It’s totally wonderful. They look up to him so much!”
    She blew me ten or twenty more kisses.
    Oh, wow.
    Failure . Total failure.
    Making the first graders cry didn’t turn her against me at all. When I dropped water balloons onto their heads, it made her PROUD of me!
    I shook my head. Getting rid of The Ecch was going to be a lot tougher than I