Party Poopers Read Free

few minutes the shark eats a swimmer. I’ve seen this episode. It’s totally great.”
    I pretended not to hear her. “Sigh, sigh,” I said. I moped back and forth, looking as sad and worried as I could.
    â€œDon’t make so much noise,” Sharonda said, tucking her long legs beneath her on the couch. “I like the sound the shark makes when it’s chewing on someone.”
    Sweet, huh?
    â€œSigh, sigh,” I said again.
    Sharonda rolled her eyes. “Okay, Bernie. What’s your problem?”
    I shook my head sadly and let a tear roll down my cheek.
    â€œWhy are you acting so pitiful?” Sharonda asked.
    â€œIt’s Jennifer,” I said, making my voice shake.
    â€œWhat about her?” Sharonda said. “Did she beat you at arm wrestling again?”
    â€œNo,” I replied. “It’s just…well…I’m not good enough for her.”
    Sharonda jumped up from the couch. “You got THAT right!” she said.
    I sniffled and wiped away the tear. “I know,” I said. “I’m just a big loser. Jennifer is so awesome. She deserves someone better.”
    â€œSmartest thing you ever said!” Sharonda replied.
    â€œJennifer should ask someone cool to the All-Nighter,” I said. “She shouldn’t take me. She needs someone cool—like Wes Updood.”
    I got up on tiptoes and whispered into Sharonda’s ear. “Can I tell you a secret?”
    Her eyes lit up. She lives for secrets! “Yeah, sure,” she said.
    â€œPromise you won’t tell anyone?”
    She nodded. “I won’t tell a soul. Promise.”
    â€œDouble promise?” I said. “It’s a big secret.”
    â€œDouble promise,” Sharonda agreed. She made a zipping motion across her lips. “I won’t tell.”
    â€œWes Updood told me he has a total crush onJennifer,” I whispered.
    Sharonda swallowed. “Really?”
    I nodded. “Don’t tell,” I said. “I know I don’t deserve Jennifer. Please don’t tell her.”
    â€œDon’t worry about it,” Sharonda said.
    I hunched my shoulders, sighed a few times, and slumped out of the Student Center. Outside, I hid behind a tree and waited.

    Two minutes later Sharonda came running out. I knew where she was going. I followed her.
    Sharonda headed straight for April-May.

    April-May sat behind a card table near the statue of our school’s founder, Mr. I. B. Rotten. She had two big signs next to the table. They both read: HELP SAVE THE CHIMPANZEES.
    What chimpanzees? And what was she saving them from?
    I didn’t know. But she had a big jar half-filled with money that kids had given her.
    I hid behind another tree to spy on Sharonda and April-May. But I couldn’t keep my eyes off that money jar. If I had a big, black marker I could change the signs to read: HELP SAVE BERNIE BRIDGES….
    I forced my eyes away from the jar. Sure enough, Sharonda was telling April-May my secret.
    Am I a genius, or am I a genius?
    My plan to de-Jennifer myself was under way!

Chapter 8
T OE F UNGUS
    Sharonda tugged April-May to her feet. She pulled April-May away. I knew where they were going—off to find Jennifer.
    I crept to the table. The chimps won’t mind if I borrow a few dollars from them , I thought. But, sadly, April-May took the money jar with her.
    I followed the two girls to the exercise room. I waited a minute or two, then sneaked in after them. I ducked behind a stationary bike.
    Jennifer was lifting a girl who was lifting weights.
    I know it’s hard to picture. But that’s how strongThe Ecch is. Pumping fifty-pound weights is too easy. She likes to lift a hundred-pound person who is pumping fifty-pound weights.

    A shiver ran down my back. I suddenly pictured Jennifer showing off—holding me over her head, raising me up and down in front of everyone.
    I had to get rid of her. My LIFE was at stake!
    I