Pale Rider: Zombies versus Dinosaurs Read Free

drinking pal wasn’t the only
one drunk. “I have the containers, you are the other rider, and I
still need a crier."
    “Hold on… I haven’t agreed to anything yet”
Avant tilted his head in a slumped position. “We haven’t even
discussed pay.”
    “Percentage deal” I replied “You get an equal
portion of what the land sells for when it goes pro.”
    He looked back at his hand and saw four
fingers sticking up. While I wondered if he was estimating a
quarter, I didn’t push the point.
    “And I’ll buy you a round,” I said to sweeten
the conversation.
    “You got a deal. And I’ll introduce you to
our crier too…” He seemed to suddenly sober. “First drinks first!”
he announced shaking his nearly empty glass “Then you can go over
some topography details.”
    Two beers later, the last crew member to
aquire was the crier. There might only be one in the whole
settlement and I needed him for this to work. Why would someone
yell for blue brains? It was so backwards to cause intentional
sound to stir the blue brains up and to their feet. Often these
young men dreaming of adventure found themselves hip deep in a
nightmare. I didn’t understand them, but understanding was not
required. All I had to do was hire one. Right now, I had a “resume”
that the crier sitting across from me was good. Item number one on
his resume was that he was still breathing. Resume item number two
was Avant’s word.
    The crier looked straight at me. “Don’t doubt
me. I will set off three noisemakers then hide. Each noise maker is
scheduled to run for ten minutes. I then leave those and set three
more noise makers in a new area. I repeat this cycle for as long as
it takes. After that, it is up to you to clean up.”
    The man opposite to me had a darker shade of
skin that wrapped around bulges of muscle. His arms reminded me of
large soft balls stuffed in a sock. I was pretty sure that the
muscles were not just to impress women. A crier’s ability to pull
themselves up and away from danger was how they stayed alive. That
required fast thinking and strong arms.
    “Solomon, I think I can use you. I assume the
typical deal of a percentage works? Do you have a wife or
girlfriend to give your share… just in case?”
    Solomon snarled a little at me. It was just a
lip twitch and squint of the eyes, but those signs showed a storm
underneath. I was reminded that I didn’t understand town criers. If
I lost this one, my whole plan would blow up.
    “I’ll collect. I haven’t died yet, pale
rider” Solomon hissed. “Plus, I always pack a plan D.”
    I nodded, unsure if I heard B or D but not
wanting to ask. Everything I asked him appeared to somehow offend.
I could not lose this man from my crew. I began to tell him about
my plan. He would start by drawing all those shambling monsters
towards the center. Avant and I would then mow down these
creatures. When we felt comfortable, I would hop up on the T-Rex
and finish the surrounding area. While I mopped up, the containers
would build the permanent fence. After fencing and cleansing the
whole property, everyone got paid in beer. In a year, we all got
paid in cash.
    “So you need a signal when I’ve started
crying” Solomon asked me with a stern face. That was such an odd
phrase to hear from this huge man. I needed to be careful to
control my urge to smile, as I did not want to insult this man.
    “I have a flare gun. Once we see the signal,
we erupt toward the center. Your nerves are critical here.” I
leaned toward him and lowered my voice, the small smile dissipating
on my face. “Too soon and we lose momentum. Too late and they fade
into the background again.”
    “I’ll make sure it is timed right” Solomon
said as he took the flare gun from my hand. His grip tightened
quickly and I thought he might break the gun right there. “You
better not be as dumb as you look, Pale Rider. Do not hesitate when
I launch this. If you wait too long, the blues won’t be the