Our Gang Read Free

very clear to my enemies and the enemies of
    the unborn: let there be no mistake about it, what
    they did to Martin Luther King, what they did to
    Robert F. Charisma and to John F. Charisma before
    him, great Americans all, is not for a moment going
    to deter me from engaging in the struggle that lies
    ahead. I will not be intimidated by extremists or
    militants or violent fanatics from bringing justice
    and equality to those who live in the womb. And let
    me make one thing more perfectly clear: I am not
    just talking about the rights of the fetus. I am talking
    about the microscopic embryos as well. If ever there
    was a group in this country that was
    "disadvantaged," in the sense that they are utter-
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    ly without representation or a voice in our national
    government, it is not the blacks or the Puerto
    Ricans or the hippies or what-have-you, all of
    whom have their spokesmen, but these
    infinitesimal creatures up there on the placenta.
    You know, we all watch our TV and we see the
    demonstrators and we see the violence, because,
    unfortunately, that is the kind of thing that makes
    the news. But how many of us realize that
    throughout this great land of ours, there are millions
    upon millions of embryos going through the most
    complex and difficult changes in form and structure,
    and all this they accomplish without waving signs
    for the camera and disrupting traffic and throwing
    paint and using foul language and dressing in
    outlandish clothes. Yes, Mr. Daring.
    MR. DARING: But what about those fetuses, sir, that
    the Vice President has labeled "troublemakers"? I
    believe he was referring specifically to those who
    start in kicking around the fifth month. Do you
    agree that they are "malcontents" and "ingrates"?
    And if so, what measures do you intend to take to
    control them? TRICKY: Well, first off, Mr. Daring, I
    believe we are dealing here with some very fine
    distinctions of a legal kind. Now, fortunately
    (impish en dearing smile) I happen to be a lawyer
    and have the kind of training that enables me to
    make these fine distinctions. (Back to serious
    business)
    TRICKY HOLDS A PRESS CONFERENCE 13
    I think we have to be very very careful here and I
    am sure the Vice President would agree with me-to
    distinguish between two kinds of activity: kicking in
    the womb, to which the Vice President was
    specifically referring, and moving in the womb. You
    see, the Vice President did not say, despite what you
    may have heard on television, that all fetuses who
    are active in the womb are troublemakers. Nobody
    in this Administration believes that. In fact, I have
    just today spoken with both Attorney General
    Malicious and Mr. Heehaw at the FBI, and we are
    all in agreement that a certain amount of movement
    in the womb, after the fifth month, is not only
    inevitable but desirable in a normal pregnancy.
    But as for this other matter, I assure you, this
    administration does not intend to sit idly by and do
    nothing while American women are being kicked in
    the stomach by a bunch of violent five-month-olds.
    Now by and large, and I cannot emphasize this
    enough, our American unborn are as wonderful a
    group of unborn as you can find anywhere. But
    there are these violent few
    that the Vice President has characterized, and I
    don't think unjustly, in his own impassioned
    rhetoric, as "troublemakers" and "malcontents" and
    the Attorney General has been instructed by
    me to take the appropriate action against them. MR .
    DARING: If I may, sir, what sort of action
    will that be? Will there be arrests made of
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    violent fetuses? And if so, how exactly will this be
    carried out?
    TRICKY: I think I can safely say, Mr. Daring, that we
    have the finest law enforcement agencies in the
    world. I am quite sure that Attorney General
    Malicious can solve whatever procedural problems
    may arise. Mr. Respectful.
    MR. RESPECTFUL: Mr. President, with all the
    grave national and international problems that
    press continually