One or Two Things I Learned About Love Read Free Page A

potatoes in my prom-queen dress and fluttering my fan and wanted to know what was going on. Ely says that we should have one day a week when we both dress up. We could have themes. He figures it’d be good for business. The Countess said I added a touch of class to the stand. (And I quote: “If the Czarina was forced to sell vegetables, she’d dress for the occasion.”) Green Pick-up Guy says he’s going to call me Scarlett from now on.
    After Gus left on her date tonight, I found my dad standing in the living room staring out of the window like there was something out there besides the Masiados’ house and the road. I said don’t tell me that spaceship’s back. He wanted to know if it was Zak or Elroy with Gus. I said it was Abe Zimmerman. He said, “Who?” I reminded him that she dated Abe for a while when she was in high school. He’s the one who backed into the mailbox. My dad said, “He’s got a new car.” I said, “Fair’s fair. We got a new mailbox.”

    Nomi says if she wasn’t going out with Jax she thinks she’d be interested in Ely. I said, “Ely who?” She wanted to know how many Elys I know exactly. I said do you mean Ely Weimer? From the farm? He’s nearly seven feet tall and he plays the ukulele (it’s a sight). Though he is an excellent juggler. She said she thought I liked him. I said I do like him. Ely’s great. He brings laughter to the world of fruit and vegetables. Selling tomatoes wouldn’t be the same without him. But I never think of him like
that
. You know, like he’s a boy. Not one I might want to kiss or share a fork with or anything. Nomi said, “Well, I do.” I was astounded. I thought she was so into Jax that she never looked at other boys. (Or if she did they might as well be turnips.) Nomi went all Nomi, slapping her forehead and moaning. She said she didn’t realize that because she’s going out with Jax she was supposed to go around with a blindfold on and never think that any other boy was cute or nice. I said I thought that when you’re into one guy you can’t even think about anybody else. Nomi said I have a lot to learn about relationships. Gee, I wonder why that is. She said, “No, really, Hildy. Sometimes I worry about you.” (And I
don’t
?) Nomi said it’s as if I got everything I know about the boy-girl thing from songs and movies. I said well I obviously didn’t get it from real life, did I? Since I’ve never had a boyfriend. I wonder if I ever will. I think I’m under a curse. The Hildy D’Angelo Dating Curse.
    Lebanon Road Movie Club Night. It was Louie’s turn to pick. Thank God. If it’s Louie’s choice it’s something old and interesting. Jax and Kruger (and Max when he’s here and not sitting around a campfire singing “Kumbaya”) always pick war movies, horror movies, thrillers or thrillers set during a war with an element of horror. I usually make cookies, but it’s so hot the thought of turning on the oven made me feel faint. Brought chips instead. Maggie brought Grady again. They held hands through the whole show. When they left, Grady thanked Mr and Mrs Masiado for their hospitality. Mrs Masiado wanted to know if he has a sister for Louie.

    I’ve noticed quite a few women carrying fans. Really. Nomi says that means we’re trendsetters. How awesome is that? Usually I don’t even know there’s a trend going on till it’s just about over. Will being a trendsetter make me more attractive to boys, or less? I think it could make me more attractive to some boys – the cutting-edge, first-to-have-a-tattoo-or-a-piercing type – and less attractive to others – the regular kind my parents would approve of. But since I’m not attractive to anyone, I guess it doesn’t really make any difference. Nonetheless, I do think Mrs Gorrie should give us commission.
    One of Lenora’s friends threw the cat into the Palacios’ pool to see if it could swim. (It could swim, but it wasn’t happy about it.) Mrs Palacio loves that cat. She