the way he says that so casually takes my breath away. One of his father’s private airplanes. But even though Jonathon is a billionaire’s son, I’m not attracted to him for his money. At first, I didn’t even like him.
I’ve since learned that Jonathon has great depth. I still haven’t figured him out completely. During fall term, he let me complain about my courses to him, let me voice my fears and insecurities, and he was always there to talk me through my panics and help me find confidence. He came to my rescue when a stalker attacked me on campus. He drove the guy away. Then, because the stalker was never caught, Jonathon kept me protected.
There are many layers to Jonathon I know I haven’t seen. I thought he was arrogant because he wasn’t willing to forgo kinky sex to keep Lara. But I’ve learned he’s not conceited; he’s vulnerable. I want so badly to know what has made him that way.
I don’t care that Jonathon owns a stunning mountain-side mansion, a motorcycle, three cars, a limo, and that he’s built a personal fortune of twenty million dollars. I do care that he has a penchant for BDSM, because I still think that means there’s a conflict inside him. He says it has nothing to do with his mysterious past, but I think my sexual quirks are related to my sorry past. Either way, his fascination with bondage and whipping—that’s where his interests lie—ignite a conflict inside me. I want to know more.
It’s the man inside Jonathon who fascinates me.
I could fall deeply in love with that man. All through fall term I didn’t let that happen because I loved Ryan and I wanted to be faithful. Now everything’s changed.
“Okay,” I say, keeping my voice really soft. “One week of wild, intense sex. I’ll try anything you throw at me. Bondage. Spanking. Anything. ”
I hear him swallow hard. I like surprising him.
But he regains his composure. “We’ll arrive mid-afternoon at the resort,” he says. “I’ll pick you up at your place at 8:00 a.m.”
He hangs up then. I blow out a deep breath. By this time tomorrow, I’ll probably be dressed in leather, tied hand-and-foot, and doing wild, kinky things with gorgeous Jonathon Powell.
Chapter Two
By midnight, a blanket of white snow had covered everything, making even mom’s small bungalow look like a frosted gingerbread house. Now, at eight a.m., rain drizzles down. The downpour has washed away most of the snow. Only mounds of dirty, wet slush are left. This is the kind of Christmas I’ve always known; moments of prettiness, but mostly sloppy, cold, and wet.
I had to lie to Mom, of course. I told her something of the truth; that I was going south with Jonathon Powell. But I told her he was taking a bunch of us as a Christmas treat, including my roommate Lara and other girls. I mean, I’m nineteen and can certainly go if I want to, but I didn’t want to turn it into a huge debate. Nor did I want to discuss the issue of breaking up with Ryan. I googled Jonathon and his father’s companies, which convinced my mother that it was possible that a college student could spend thousands on a winter break vacation for his friends.
I sit on my rolling carry-on bag—purchased in a rush yesterday—passport in hand, biting my nails. Don’t think beyond the sex.
My problem is that I used to think that way. After I lost my virginity when I hadn’t wanted to, I tried to make up for it by having sex with guys I desired. I knew it would end after we went to bed once, twice, sometimes as many as five or ten times. But I couldn’t play games. If I was turned on by a guy, I did something about it.
But I started to realize I just felt empty. I got to have intimacy briefly, then it just vanished, leaving me with nothing at all. Not even good memories, since I felt bad about what I’d done.
I’d already vowed to change when I moved here to Milltown and met Ryan. He made it easy to change. He wanted more than just sex right from the start.